Help where can i ctb if i cant do it in my house

[girlwhosoldtheworld]

(my first post on here, sorry if i mess up with anything)

basically, my mom told me that i can't kill myself in her house because she won't be able to live there anymore. the whole reason i'm making plans in the first place is because i don't want to be an burden anymore, and this would cause tons of issues. my brothers are still young and in school, not to mention that it would be incredibly traumatizing for everyone else living here. i am already being incredibly selfish by possibly choosing this route, i want it to have to least effect on everyone around me.

i only have two ideas for a location at the moment:
1) the lake near my house. the problem with this is that there are people that live all around it, and i don't want them to see me or anyone related to the cleanup. i also don't know how far i'd have to be for my mom to not associate my death with her house since my dad sometimes takes my brothers fishing there. we have a lot of photos at this lake too.
2) a forest or something. the issue with this is that i don't have a car, and i can't drive. i could possibly walk to one, but that would take super long, and i don't know how to go about planning an excuse to leave like that, though could come up with something if i thought about it hard enough.

i don't know if this is relevant, but my current planned method is to use my dad's handgun. it will definitely be loud, don't know if that matters if i'm already dead though.

another thing i'm scared of is someone finding my body and doing stuff—not just inappropriate things but anything in general—to it. i'm a girl, and it makes my skin crawl at the thought of anyone mishandling my corpse even after i'm gone.

tbh i'm probably gonna chicken out anyways. this isn't something set in stone, i still have a little hope, but i need to be able to act fast if my time really does come.

any and all advice is appreciated!!! hope everyone has good day today

 

[ipmanwc0]

Why are you a burden? your mom sucks

 

[eggsausagerice]

if you still have hope i don't think you should see suicide as an option. it's generally very traumatic to die by gsw when you live with family, because they have to be the ones to find you. i also feel like a burden to my family because i'm out of college and unemployed, so i know what it's like to think dying is better for their sake. it's hard for me to really want to be alive when my parents mostly see me as an inconvenience.

regarding location, you can uber to the forest before sunset. you can conceal your gun in a bag, then wait until night time. i don't think that anyone will mess with your body if you decide to ctb in the forest, but you can schedule a text to your local police with your name and location so they can find your body afterwards and contact your family.

 

[sulk]

Your mom knows you're planning to kill yourself?

 

[eggsausagerice]

Your mom knows you're planning to kill yourself?

probably told her but didn't send her to the psych ward because she thinks she won't do it. that's what my mom did when i told mine

 

[girlwhosoldtheworld]

Why are you a burden? your mom sucks

no, my mom is super great, it's ok!!!! i just can't do anything right ever no matter how hard i try, i'm so lucky my parents still let me live under their roof

if you still have hope i don't think you should see suicide as an option. it's generally very traumatic to die by gsw when you live with family, because they have to be the ones to find you. i also feel like a burden to my family because i'm out of college and unemployed, so i know what it's like to think dying is better for their sake. it's hard for me to really want to be alive when my parents mostly see me as an inconvenience.

regarding location, you can uber to the forest before sunset. you can conceal your gun in a bag, then wait until night time. i don't think that anyone will mess with your body if you decide to ctb in the forest, but you can schedule a text to your local police with your name and location so they can find your body afterwards and contact your family.

tysm!! i will try my best to not go through with this

Your mom knows you're planning to kill yourself?

not planning, but i broke down in front of her two months ago, so she kinda knows what's going on

 

[Deer_Dairy]

I will use taxi to get to desired location. Do not wanna drive there, because someone would have to take care of the car.
Is gun loud? Yes, it is. But before you hear a gunshot, it will be done. Bullets are supersonic (most of them).
Scared that someone will do something to your body? Do not be. No one will touch you in any way. It is extremely scary for the people to see dead body and touching it is even scarier. The first one to touch your body would be the doctor and then the funeral service employee placing your body into the coffin.

 

[girlwhosoldtheworld]

I will use taxi to get to desired location. Do not wanna drive there, because someone would have to take care of the car.
Is gun loud? Yes, it is. But before you hear a gunshot, it will be done. Bullets are supersonic (most of them).
Scared that someone will do something to your body? Do not be. No one will touch you in any way. It is extremely scary for the people to see dead body and touching it is even scarier. The first one to touch your body would be the doctor and then the funeral service employee placing your body into the coffin.

thank uu