I currently have a strong desire for a partner. But I tend to get psychotic symptoms when I approach women. So everything fails pretty quickly. I tend to search for someone who fights with her own demons. The first woman I texted had schizophrenia and a personality disorder. We had a very strong connection but the ending was a disaster. We had no relationship though. I met the second woman during a manic episodes. And I think many people perceived me as charismatic to that time. She had PTSD. We almost had a relationship. My pathologies ruined everything. So being in a manic episode is not the solution for finding a partner. I have met two women in clinics. I had a crush on one of the them. But my psychotic symptoms ruined everything. I think when she questioned my sanity it was all over. The other very good looking woman had a crush on me. Though she was very heavy into drugs and I did not like that.
I trained my social skills to be more attractive. I think I had some success. Though I tend to extreme overthinking and overanalyzing when I meet people who make me insecure. It is so frustrating to realize that your pathologies ruin everything. It ruins my hope that one day I might find a partner. I think having problems with sanity is probably extremely unattractive. I could imagine the women cannot take me serious and rather see me as a child. Especially when they have no experiences with mental illness.
I ruminate way too much about my crush in college. She has problems too. I think some of my behaviors were perceived as weird by her. But I think she liked that I showed interest for her. I am a total mess when I approach women due to overthinking. Without the advices of my friends I do very counterproductive things. I went too much on the offense I guess. I have one idea how to approach her. It is very defensive and the opposite of intrusive. I could imagine she considers me a weirdo now. However she seemed to like my approach of her because it boosted her self-confidence.
I don't know exactly what she thinks about me. Honestly I barely have any clue. Most of it only happened in my brain. Lol. Yeah I will die lonely. It is so hopeless.
We barely had interactions and I am already overthinking it to an (literally) insane level. I might have such issues but trust me it still hurts to an extreme level to be like this.
I trained my social skills to be more attractive. I think I had some success. Though I tend to extreme overthinking and overanalyzing when I meet people who make me insecure. It is so frustrating to realize that your pathologies ruin everything. It ruins my hope that one day I might find a partner. I think having problems with sanity is probably extremely unattractive. I could imagine the women cannot take me serious and rather see me as a child. Especially when they have no experiences with mental illness.
I ruminate way too much about my crush in college. She has problems too. I think some of my behaviors were perceived as weird by her. But I think she liked that I showed interest for her. I am a total mess when I approach women due to overthinking. Without the advices of my friends I do very counterproductive things. I went too much on the offense I guess. I have one idea how to approach her. It is very defensive and the opposite of intrusive. I could imagine she considers me a weirdo now. However she seemed to like my approach of her because it boosted her self-confidence.
I don't know exactly what she thinks about me. Honestly I barely have any clue. Most of it only happened in my brain. Lol. Yeah I will die lonely. It is so hopeless.
We barely had interactions and I am already overthinking it to an (literally) insane level. I might have such issues but trust me it still hurts to an extreme level to be like this.
