What I regret is suffering in this existence in the first place, to me existence itself really is the most cruel, futile abomination that just causes endless amounts of suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer and more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I just find it so painful how this existence was imposed at all even know there were never any disadvantages to never suffering at all. It's just so dreadful to me how this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for was imposed, never existing would have saved me from so much suffering in this torturous unnecessary existence, nothing would make me wish to be burdened with this existence. I suffer so much from being conscious in this horrific world where the option for me to die painlessly is denied with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know I never would have wished for any of this and never would do, I'd always prefer to die but only never existing is true perfection to me.