What would have to happen for you to be 100% sure that you have to ctb?

[John Smith]

What's the final straw for you?

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Having a disease. The final cherry on the shitcake of my life.

 

[Kuba]

if God gives me a simple sign i will do it no matter what . Just one sign and it will be done

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I have no idea. I mean if something in me just snaps I'll do it, but I'm not sure what that would be.

 

[TAW122]

It could be a numerous amount of things. If I learn or find out that I'm losing my exit/method (like people trying to strip me of my firearm (illegally/unconstitutionally), or forbidding me to possess one while I'm living at their place (the latter I'd try to find a place where it isn't a problem).), going homeless with no safety net coming back (no financial support, no place to stay even temporarily), getting a serious permanent injury/illness, very old age (like middle aged or near senior age), and/or some other catastrophic event acting as a catalyst, or a series of setbacks and additional disappointments (even if they are minor events (more rejection, more shit and grief from society, more failures in lifem etc.), they add up).

 

[Jodes]

Chronic pain returns but untreatable

 

[Whatiwantiswhatiwas]

My first attempt was at 11 now in my 30s so I don't really know what it feels like not to want to die. Sometimes things are bearable and you just get on with things but I can always go so quickly into wanting it all over. I've had a very messed up past and things that haunt me but the way things are going now I should be happy. But I'm not, and that makes me feel like I'm not worthy of having anything even more. I feel guilty that my reasons compared to others are probably ridiculous.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Im 100% sure, I've also even had a "god" sign, in the form of a disembodied voice saying "are you ready to go" it was funny because "the voice" had the tone like holy shit dude how long is this crap going to take i have lunch at 11:00., well i said yes, but obviously i hafe to do all the heavy lifting. For about 30 seconds there i thought the "voice" was going to save me the trouble. Writing a good-bye note, reasons ect. Is a mind fuck all on its own, i suggest doing this and getting it over with, before implementing any plan, as an attempt requires full concentration and a steely resolve without much hesitation.

 

[bigj75]

Painful disease/disability
Facing homelessness

 

[Letmego. Please]

It already has, numerous times, so even if i accepted that i may get back up from this i still know i will be back here 100% in the future & I've had enough of groundhog day.

 

[Jodes]

It already has, numerous times, so even if i accepted that i may get back up from this i still know i will be back here 100% in the future & I've had enough of groundhog day.

I feel like I'm groundhog Day. It all works out in the end. He gets the girl. But the same day still keeeeeeeps on repeating

 

[therhydler]

Everything has already happened...

 

[Lena]

if God gives me a simple sign i will do it no matter what . Just one sign and it will be done

He'll never give you a sign to do that

 

[Kuba]

He'll never give you a sign to do that

who knows?

 

[Roph]

Painful disease/disability
Facing homelessness

If you're facing homelessness, get in touch. I've been homeless before. There are also resources online. Don't ctb solely because of homelessness, is what I'm saying.

http://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless
http://www.reddit.com/r/homeless
http://www.reddit.com/r/vandwellers

 

[Lena]

who knows?

If you get a sign to kill yourself, it's either all in your head. Or from an entity that doesn't have your best interest in mind.

 

[Kuba]

he prepared path for me so i must just pray and deeply belive that he help me in this moments

 

[Made4TV]

I keep asking myself this. I thought it's what's happened over the last 3 years. But I am still hesitating.

 

[existenceissuffering]

So many things... say if I knew I would become homeless, or if I knew I had to work at a low skill job for the rest of my life.

 

[onewayroad]

As soon as I run out of treatment options, I'm done.

 

[GhostedToast]

for things to get worse between me and my dad or to lose my friend that i'm sticky around for.

 

[anelakapu]

Im already sure. Ive had a whole bag of final straws. Ive been rotting for a while.

 

[Kdawg2018]

Obtaining N

 

[Moms_Spaghetti]

Having both my parents die.

 

[Final Escape]

I feel like I'm groundhog Day. It all works out in the end. He gets the girl. But the same day still keeeeeeeps on repeating

You described my existence lol! It's like that movie Groundhog Day but way worse. Homelessness would push me to attempt.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

Being completely, 100% sure of my method. Don't know when it'll be to my dismay. I've become a perfectionist in regards to suicide ever since the failed attempt. Another failure just isn't an option.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

What was your mindset like when you attempted? I never have...the closest I have gotten was telling myself I was going to tomorrow, tonight, cleaning and getting ready etc....but I never made any serious attempt at it beyond "preparing". I think with enough wine in me perhaps I can overcome that but I don't know. It's hard to comprehend.

I just took a bunch of random perscription meds I had been stocking up on overtime. I naively believed they would either kill me in my sleep or worst case scenerio nothing would happen. Boy was I wrong, left me with a list of traumatizing symptoms I won't go into on this thread. Am partially brain damaged because of it:(

 

[Lifeisatrap]

S


Sorry I more meant what were you thinking? Mood? Like I cannot imagine getting bad anxiety and freaking out at the prospect if I were about to swallow something, or pull a trigger etc. I have felt BAD enough to want to CTB right then...but never calm and assured enough to follow through. I freak out a little even imagining doing it. It's different when you think of it like some romantic abstract prospect like some tortured artist ODing etc....but when I face that it's me, here, in my existence...its terrifying and ugly and too real.

Wasn't thinking much of anything, just mostly acted on impulse. Having a passive method that can be done on a whim make it less terrifying. Unfortunately, such methods are no longer easily available. Learned that the hard way.

 

[SiArc]

I am already 100% sure about CTB. I see my future for my health, social situation, financial situation. None of it is what I want. I am a logical analytical person. I look at all angles. I cannot do what I was meant to do due to things that are wrong with my physically. This is not where I am meant to be. I cannot reach potential. Leaving is not sad for me, it is not desperation, it is what it is. Death is just another part of my path.

 

[Lunaemoth]

All I remember from my life is wanting to die. I was 11 when I first attempted and now I'm 26. I've thought about dying every day for 15 years, and I've never been glad I survived an attempt since or regretted trying... I've only ever regretted failing. Admittedly my attempts until now have been fairly spur of the moment. But I decided months ago I'd do it right this time, and I've had my well-researched method for weeks (SN). Now I'm six days to ctb. I rearranged my life so that I can't back out (expectations, lies I've told, quitting work, etc.) But I haven't felt the slightest urge anyway. All I feel is confidence I'll succeed and an almost euphoric sense of relief.