what to tell (and not tell) cops if i get a wellness check after ordering from dsl?

[eggsausagerice]

hello sasu nation, eggsausagerice here

currently the order status for my sn is "item presented to customs", so i'm kind of nervous imagining the cops coming to my house the way they did when my friend called them after i said i would kill myself (last june). does anyone know what i should say if they do come? do i just act really stupid or pretend i don't know what sn is? i live in the us instead of the uk, so maybe my odds of getting a wellness check are lower.

 

[glitterpvppy]

Idk the answer to this but I'm also wondering b4 I order.

 

[ShadowOfASelf]

is there any excuse you can make that is believable, like that you're using it for a legitimate purpose? given that you've already had cops called on you for a wellness check due to suicidal ideation before, they're probably going to be pretty suspicious. you can assure them that you have no suicidal ideation and you would call 911 if you did and you ordered it for other purposes. I don't know what the cops are like in your area. I know here at least, a lot of them (and a lot of psychs in hospital wards) REALLY don't want to deal with suicidal people because there's a lack of beds and just in general it's probably a lot of work for them. So they will often just accept you promising that you have no plans to kill yourself and if you ever did you would call to be hospitalized, that way their bases are covered even if you do kill yourself. Given that it's SN though and not something OTC, you would probably need at least some semi-plausible reason to have ordered it, I doubt "curiosity" would be enough (though if you get the right cops that really don't want to do anything, maybe it would be).

 

[Pluto]

 

[eggsausagerice]

I know here at least, a lot of them (and a lot of psychs in hospital wards) REALLY don't want to deal with suicidal people because there's a lack of beds and just in general it's probably a lot of work for them. So they will often just accept you promising that you have no plans to kill yourself and if you ever did you would call to be hospitalized, that way their bases are covered even if you do kill yourself.

LOL my hospitals are the same. i live in tx and the mental health services suck so bad here that hospitals will kick you out as soon as they can bc they have no bed. they'll only not let you go if you're causing trouble with the staff or still saying you'll kill yourself. i just bullshitted the whole time i was at the ward they let me go after the mandatory 3 days.

is there any excuse you can make that is believable, like that you're using it for a legitimate purpose?

i think that it'd be better to deny it, but i don't know since i haven't heard other people's experiences with the police. i seemed mostly harmless to the cops last time i was called, they just said i would get taken in because of the call to my house. the order leading to a wellness check seems less personal and more easy for me to deny, though with my name and address being on the package they might wonder why it's addressed to me. maybe i could just say that i'm a meat curing hobbyist? that's the same excuse people tell sellers. i think what i tell cops may depend on if it's in my house or got seized preemptively.

 

[ShadowOfASelf]

LOL my hospitals are the same. i live in tx and the mental health services suck so bad here that hospitals will kick you out as soon as they can bc they have no bed. they'll only not let you go if you're causing trouble with the staff or still saying you'll kill yourself. i just bullshitted the whole time i was at the ward they let me go after the mandatory 3 days.


i think that it'd be better to deny it, but i don't know since i haven't heard other people's experiences with the police. i seemed mostly harmless to the cops last time i was called, they just said i would get taken in because of the call to my house. the order leading to a wellness check seems less personal and more easy for me to deny, though with my name and address being on the package they might wonder why it's addressed to me. maybe i could just say that i'm a meat curing hobbyist? that's the same excuse people tell sellers. i think what i tell cops may depend on if it's in my house or got seized preemptively.

I was assuming that you wanted to keep the SN. If you are more scared of the cops hauling you off or something you could deny it and say somebody was trying to prank you or that you have no idea why it's addressed to you and you didn't order it, but then you won't get it, I assume.

 

[eggsausagerice]

If you are more scared of the cops hauling you off or something you could deny it and say somebody was trying to prank you or that you have no idea why it's addressed to you and you didn't order it, but then you won't get it

i guess that's more in the situation where it already came and they're trying to take it from my house. i think that i'd say that i'm into meat curing if they interrupt the shipping process.

 

[imontheloose]

I oddly suspect the US just wouldn't care. Lol.

Nonetheless, I would ideally have some meat curing handbook(s) of sorts and some meats at the time it's estimated to arrive. If you had those, you could easily just claim you needed a potent curing agent and sodium nitrate just wasn't potent enough. Maybe gently read up on how the curing process works so you can try bore them away with your slop.

Although, if they're aware it's from a schizo Ukrainian, perhaps this theory collapses a tad.