Discussion What one decision from your past would you change ?

[Painless_end]

You get to change only one single decision at any point of your past. What do you change ?

 

[ripbug]

i would change the people i surrounded myself with, my whole life people just used me as their jester to laugh at and feel better about themselves. whenever i was happy they found out ways to take that away from me and i ended up losing everyone even myself. now i dont have the ability to believe that anyone wants to even speak to me or be around me unless they want something for their own gain.

 

[FuneralCry]

If I could, I would change the fact that I was born in the first place, but of course that was not my decision. More than anything I wish I never existed. Apart from that I would choose to ctb at an earlier age, if I did that it would have prevented a lot of suffering.

 

[TheBigGuiltHaver]

Change where I hung out on the internet, y'know, less iDubbbz and more... whatever was positive at the time, I guess like Jenna Marbles. Replace 4 & 8chan with Tumblr and whatever else, at least then I wouldn't be consuming media that's was horribly bigoted, I'd be able to discover myself, and maybe I'd even change the people that I hung around discovering that they aren't down a good path at that stage either. Maybe not abandon them but be able to be around people that were emotionally connected, had their head screwed on right... or at least that are more knowing of how the world is.
Maybe I could have ended up where I am now even earlier, just be apathetic to the world, have the bravery to even just sit near the lake when I lived around there, walk around town, lay down in the woods, decompress in nature knowing that I can take advantage of the time that I have left with no concern over long-term planning. Nothing matters, do what you feel like doing without fear over this or that. I wish I had that now, at the moment, I'm stuck in a concrete jungle.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I would change the most dangerous and life threatening decision I made in 2019, of exposing my narcissistic parent's more than 2 decades of abuses and tortures. I didn't know at that time that they always win and nobody believes you if you tell them truth,not even the seemingly good people,your sister and the so called friends. I didn't know or anticipated what the repercussions of such mistake could be.I have faced hell since then of some different level, by hospital authorities and the people in my life.

 

[Noctis]

When I was a teenager and I got scared and backed out after putting my dad's shotgun in my mouth.

I'd pull that trigger so hard if I could.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I wished I took the time to train so I can stand up for myself and fight back whenever my grandparents, or aunt, or others would seek to intimidate and harm me. It's because I've done nothing, I became their bitch. When I finally did have the courage, I wasn't very effective, and I never had the opportunity to finally do what needed to be done. It's too late. They've won. They've broke me. And the only person I can really be mad at, is myself as my dear grandfather would put it.

I shouldn't think of things like this, and I should let go… They've treated me better now that I no longer live with them. And part of it was we've had different ways of thinking.

 

[Crazy4u]

my only regret is I didn't ctb when I was a teenager or in my early 20s

 

[StarryStarry]

I would have never gotten married.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Tough to say because I don't think I had much control over the events that actually ruined me and even if I had done things differently in the moments I did have control, I'm sure I could have just as easily regretted those decisions all the same even if it has the opposite outcome.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I would have stayed away from that south Asian man that was only using me and taking advantage of my naivety that traumatized me, and stayed away from every man after that until I worked through my traumas

 

[Kristicide]

I would have attended the funeral for my friend who died on 9/11. It was so traumatic I couldn't bring myself to go. It's really my only regret in life.

 

[Murasa]

Well, since you ask...

 

[LivingHellonearth]

I would change the decision of start working in a restaurant where I got physical assaulted by another coworker. I should have stay and work with my dad. If I only stay with my dad my life would be 1000 times better now and probably I would never consider CTB as an option. Now my life is over my only option is CTB as soon as possible.

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Ingesting Cipro.

 

[Blank Dreamer]

Either never meeting the person that is near and dear to me this very day so many years ago.
Or never leaving my home when I left for college.

She would have never been a part of my life and I'd probably would've been better for it.
Or being around when the man who is my biological father went and left his family. I might've been able to do something, anything. Though to be honest, I think it'd would've played out the same. Just worse if I was around at that time.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

To stay a virgin and never date lol

 

[Lost Magic]

To have ended all this sooner. I am getting older and more jaded.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm stuck in a bit of what-ifs today, happens whenever I keep hearing the lyric, "I'm falling even more in love with you," so I'd change how I handled things in the past with someone still special to me. I'd fight with all I had so she wouldn't leave me, so we could share our hearts with each other, not have what was in them create a chasm between us. And I'd do more so I could actually be physically in her life afterwards. Lonely what-ifs.

On most days I'd rather change one of my unsuccessful high school attempts into a successful attempt. @Curious89 what would you change?

 

[AnestheticVoid]

Being in love with a certain girl.

 

[deletednumber]

If I could, I would change the fact that I was born in the first place, but of course that was not my decision. More than anything I wish I never existed. Apart from that I would choose to ctb at an earlier age, if I did that it would have prevented a lot of suffering.

Exactly this for me too...To be precise, one thing that I regret very much was a very first failed attempt in 2015 when my first depressive crises started that I still didn't even know what the fuck was depression ... that's if I had done it...I would have been spared many years of severe pain

 

[Grav]

Doing drugs with my buddies.

 

[Looooser]

I regret trying meth so that would be my one thing. I was addicted to meth for about 8 years and ruined my life. I am proud to say that I've been clean for just over 20 years but I still deal with the affects. I've just some good friends and a marriage because of it. It was a Great weight loss plan though.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Getting genital herpes lol! Life sucks for me because of that

 

[WadeingThru]

I regret trying meth so that would be my one thing. I was addicted to meth for about 8 years and ruined my life. I am proud to say that I've been clean for just over 20 years but I still deal with the affects. I've just some good friends and a marriage because of it. It was a Great weight loss plan though.

Did you gain the weight back in the last 20 years?

 

[Looooser]

Did you gain the weight back in the last 20 years?

Yes and a lot more

 

[hungry_ghost]

Would have stayed in the army instead of sabotaging my own career out of cowardice.

The life sucked, but at least it was an easy paycheck, and I could have used that money toward future goals.

 

[Darkover]

never be born as simple as that

 

[Jack4230]

Being born

 

[justtiredofit]

Besides somehow dying in the womb instead of being born, I would have added more to the prescription cocktail I used and hope not to fail again.