Help What kind of counseling do I need?

[akiyama346]

I feel my issues are mostly environmental, I live in substandard housing with hoarding, too many people, roaches, mold and mice and my parents don't care and treat roaches like its normal, I have to lie to my parents about college because they can't accept me just getting any job and have delusions of me "going to school and getting a good job" plus dysfunctional family etc etc. (I also have significant allergies to roaches, mice, and mold so it probably affects my medical condition). So I went into counseling hoping to get practical help when it comes to my future, maybe moving out, etc. but I felt disappointed on my first session with a psychotherapist last week because I felt unheard and she repeated what I already knew. She also pointed out that the lie isn't sustainable which I already knew, it's not like I want to lie, I would love to tell the truth to my family if they could just accept it and help me instead of blowing up and everything falling apart.

People say "get therapy", but what kind do I need? I don't really need help sorting out my feelings or emotions and stuff, I need practical help for planning a future.

 

[U. A.]

yeah therapists are only trained to help people deal with mental or emotional issues; most are useless when it comes to practical things. if you feel said issues are holding you back from figuring out how to elevate your situation they might be useful, but otherwise you need someone who can help take action, make plans, maybe even offer resources. i dunno for sure what kind of job title that is but (community) counsellor or peer support might be somewhere to start.
good luck

 

[nocatwaslost]

Where are you from? For me this sounds like a classical case for a social worker, but I don't know which social services are provided in your area

 

[akiyama346]

Where are you from? For me this sounds like a classical case for a social worker, but I don't know which social services are provided in your area

I'm from the US

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Where are you from? For me this sounds like a classical case for a social worker, but I don't know which social services are provided in your area

I agree with this. In the past I have worked with LCSWs (licenced clinical social workers - basically social workers that are trained in clinical therapy) and I have found their social worker backgrounds helpful, as they grasp the practical nature of environmental situations.

As far as type of therapy, there are so many. In my personal experience I have found that trying various therapists and methods has helped me to know better what clicks well. There is also that base level need of being able to "click" and connect with your therapist is a big part of it.

I imagine that a change of environment will help a lot. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[nocatwaslost]

I'm from the US

That is outside of my area of expertise, but as far as I know each state offers different services right? Some are mandatory as far as I know and some states offer further support. Maybe you can do a research and type in your "county/state" + "housing assistance" in google or some AI. ChatGPT could be useful here

 

[orpheus_]

Seconding what others wrote about social workers - I think it would be good to try seeking this kind of help. That being said, counselling may help you go through it. Sure, if the problems are external, a counsellor won't fix them, but usually there is *something* that can be done to make the situation easier to deal with.

I'm not an expert in therapy approaches and I'm also not from the US so the availability may be different, but - from what I know - what can possibly help you is SFT (Solution-focused therapy), because it focuses on "what can be done here and now". It's usually less about emotions and thoughts, more about practical actions. Maybe you can also look for someone trained in Systemic Therapy (it's usually used in the context of family issues, but in general it's about looking at the interactions between the person and their environment).

From personal experience, even if the situation is completely shit and out of your control, seeing a counsellor can help sometimes. My therapist (who works in integrative approach, which is basically a mix of a few things) helped me in such a situation (though it was not the same as yours - just the idea of "you're stuck in a bad position because of external circumstances), I feel like I kind of learned to deal with it better. I just owe her not having gone absolutely insane then, honestly. Also my therapist had experience with working in social services, so she had the knowledge about institutions I can ask for help and such. If you can find someone who has experience in such work (or collaborates with any social services in some way) it can also be helpful.

Anyway that's my answer to your question, still I agree with others. Just to mention that counselling might not be completely useless for you. I hope you will be able to find some help, because your situation really sounds awful.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Here's their website.I agree with this. In the past I have worked with LCSWs (licenced clinical social workers - basically social workers that are trained in clinical therapy) and I have found their social worker backgrounds helpful, as they grasp the practical nature of environmental situations.

As far as type of therapy, there are so many. In my personal experience I have found that trying various therapists and methods has helped me to know better what clicks well. There is also that base level need of being able to "click" and connect with your therapist is a big part of it.

I imagine that a change of environment will help a lot. I wish you the best of luck.

I find LCSWs are mixed bags. They're more likely to take Medicaid so they're mostly what I've experienced. The last one said he didn't know what to tell me when I said life feels like a trap, a game, that we are all forced to work until we die. He also told me a $14 an hour job was better than being unemployed which felt deeply out of touch. I left him pretty quickly.

Unfortunately macro social work has been phased out for clinical which seems more individualized and less aware of systemic issues. It's a shame. Sometimes they help with social barriers, otherwise they're just kinda useless.

However in this case contacting a state agency may be better than seeing a therapist. I recommend calling 211. Here's their website.They're through the united way and national in the United States. I'm sure if you're from another country they can redirect you.

However one tip I have for therapy is to utilize a free fifteen minute consultation for any therapist you contact. That is how I found my current therapist and we completely click. She was also from a working class background and went to foster care which I consider an asset. I second those who said a therapist experienced in social services would be your best benefit here.

 

[scientificmethid]

Social worker/coach would be a good start. They have access to the programs that can help you. Most are free too.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

What leads you to think that the prospect of you getting an education and a good career is just a delusion?