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wait-bus-stop

Member
Feb 5, 2023
90
I have had three experiences that give me an idea of what dying will be like when I hang myself. They come from a serious attempt when I was about 15, my sleep apnea, which means I sometimes stop breathing in my sleep and just from going under for surgery.

First stage: When I tried to kill myself, I tied a towel/cloth over a beam in the basement and then pushed a chair away. I remember feeling the cloth tighten and the inside of my head getting warm. I saw flashes of light in the corner of my eyes. I felt no pain, but the inability to inhale or exhale was discomforting. I then passed out. But I have a sense of knowing my hands dropped lifelessly from holding the towel to resting beside me. I then woke up on the ground, looking up at the towel that let me go.

Second Stage: I have sleep Apnea which means sometimes I stop breathing at night. When it happens, I have horrific dreams of being attacked. But I win that battle if I wake up, but I am told my body will thrash, and my arms and legs get super stiff as if I am trying to bend them and can't. I assume this is the stage where an unconscious body thrashes a few seconds after hanging starts. So at this stage of dying, I assume I will NOT be conscious of the outside world, but I will be in a dream state of a fight that I will eventually lose.

Third and final stage: I figure it will be like when you go under for an operation. No Pain, just like counting backward and saying to myself -- "let go."

That is what I vision the transition will be like. Does anyone have any opinions about this?
 
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ChildrensITV

ChildrensITV

Arcanist
Mar 14, 2023
460
Third and final stage: I figure it will be like when you go under for an operation. No Pain, just like counting backward and saying to myself -- "let go."

How fucking good would that be? Just counting back from 10 and it's all over?

How is life a precious gift if no government will let me get rid of it or "lose" it.
 
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