Venting What if I make the wrong choice?

[HopelessAbyss]

I don't want to exist anymore. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I do more harm than good. Days are passing by in a blur, and they seem so meaningless. My life is only getting significantly worse as time goes on. People are moving on, life is going forward, but I'm stuck in the same place I've been in for years. One thing is keeping me alive though. I was raised as a Christian since birth, and even though I've suffered religious abuse and don't go to church anymore, I still believe that God exists. It's just something that has been instilled in me my entire life. I'm afraid that if I decide to go through with suicide I will go to hell. I don't want to leave hell on earth just to go to the exact same place for eternity with no chance of redemption. Do you think God would forgive me, even though I'm technically harming God's vessel?

 

[artificialpasta]

This is a suicide instruction forum so of course you will get one of two answers from people here:
- "no God won't send you to hell"
- "hell isn't real and was invented by the church to gain power"

It would be odd if people were actively trying to do something they also believed would lead to eternal conscious torment.

My personal and honest take is that if the Christian God is real then we can't know as a certain fact. There are multiple injunctions in scripture and church tradition against self-harm (eg from 1 Cor, "Your body is your temple..." and the commandment not to kill) but God is also known to be merciful and just. Therefore one can hope but not presume. Hope that makes sense.

 

[ceelobling]

I don't believe that God would send someone to hell if they kill themself. God is supposed to be loving and caring, a loving god would not do that. If someone believes in jesus and stuff, why would he take away that salvation? God cares about you your whole life and as soon as you cant take it anymore you kill yourself and he says "screw you go to hell." I don't think a god would do that. We don't even know if there is a hell, no one knows what's on the other side. Don't do it though, cause if there is a hell, and if we do go there by suicide, we're gonna remember all our conversations we ever had about hell and that we were wrong, that's the scary part.

 

[Abort!]

I don't want to exist anymore. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I do more harm than good. Days are passing by in a blur, and they seem so meaningless. My life is only getting significantly worse as time goes on. People are moving on, life is going forward, but I'm stuck in the same place I've been in for years. One thing is keeping me alive though. I was raised as a Christian since birth, and even though I've suffered religious abuse and don't go to church anymore, I still believe that God exists. It's just something that has been instilled in me my entire life. I'm afraid that if I decide to go through with suicide I will go to hell. I don't want to leave hell on earth just to go to the exact same place for eternity with no chance of redemption. Do you think God would forgive me, even though I'm technically harming God's vessel?

I honestly don't think that version of God is even supported by the bible. Eternal conscious torment doctrine wasn't really mainstream until much later in the church's history. When I identified as Christian, the way I saw it was that there are three different possible outcomes and all are essentially unknowable but two make much more sense. Either God is an annihilationist, a universalist, or a giant douchebag for no other reason than that he could be. ECT does not make sense even from a purely pragmatic standpoint either. You're going to force beings into flawed meat suits, with circumstances far beyond their control, with intentionally flawed perspectives... and then torture them forever and ever for the great crime of not believing in the correct multiple choice? What would Yahweh even gain from that? It speaks to human fear based doctrine far more than anything. Good luck OP.