InaudibleEcho
Oh, it’s a reasonable sacrifice
- Jun 23, 2023
- 45
A big reason why most people don't want to talk about their desire to CTB is they're afraid of what will happen if people find out. I'd like to share my story from when it happened to me.
One night, I was venting to my friend about how I was having suicidal thoughts. I don't remember what I said since this was in 2021.
The next day, I was feeling much better but my friend was not. She started crying in the middle of class and some of our school friends came up to us and eventually the teacher came along too.
A few of us were sent to the counselor and my friend was crying and saying that I said I was gonna CTB or something and that she was scared for me and it made me emotional too.
Eventually after talking it through, both around my friends and one on one with the counselor, I felt better. But he called in a social worker. He then told my parents to pick me up and take me to the hospital. He was still afraid I was going to hurt myself.
After going to the hospital they said they were going to keep me overnight and eventually decided to check me in to the psyche ward. I let it happen because I thought it would fix me. Spoiler alert: it did Jack shit.
After suffering through sensory deprivation in the same hospital room, waiting for there to be room in the psych ward.
when I finally got there, it wasn't so bad. At least, compared to my normal life. There were people my age I could talk to, even though we werent allowed to be friends for some reason. We also couldn't have phones and we'd be left in our cement rooms without clocks for I don't know how long until it was time for a meal or activity. Which actually sounds horrible.
I only think it wasn't 'that bad' because it was the only time I've ever regularly had three meals a day and met New people.
Every day they would check up on your health and mental state with the same questions without much room to freely speak. I was eventually checked out after a week and went to therapy for a month or two.
One night, I was venting to my friend about how I was having suicidal thoughts. I don't remember what I said since this was in 2021.
The next day, I was feeling much better but my friend was not. She started crying in the middle of class and some of our school friends came up to us and eventually the teacher came along too.
A few of us were sent to the counselor and my friend was crying and saying that I said I was gonna CTB or something and that she was scared for me and it made me emotional too.
Eventually after talking it through, both around my friends and one on one with the counselor, I felt better. But he called in a social worker. He then told my parents to pick me up and take me to the hospital. He was still afraid I was going to hurt myself.
After going to the hospital they said they were going to keep me overnight and eventually decided to check me in to the psyche ward. I let it happen because I thought it would fix me. Spoiler alert: it did Jack shit.
After suffering through sensory deprivation in the same hospital room, waiting for there to be room in the psych ward.
when I finally got there, it wasn't so bad. At least, compared to my normal life. There were people my age I could talk to, even though we werent allowed to be friends for some reason. We also couldn't have phones and we'd be left in our cement rooms without clocks for I don't know how long until it was time for a meal or activity. Which actually sounds horrible.
I only think it wasn't 'that bad' because it was the only time I've ever regularly had three meals a day and met New people.
Every day they would check up on your health and mental state with the same questions without much room to freely speak. I was eventually checked out after a week and went to therapy for a month or two.
