Discussion What are some pros of having no friends?

[Spite]

I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I will probably never have friends for as long as I live. It's certainly not the most preferable outcome and I really wish I had friends, but unfortunately some of us miss out and I happen to be one of the unlucky ones.

The only pros/advantages of being friendless I can really think of is I don't have to worry about any potential drama and conflict, and having no friends means I get to enjoy having a lot more free time on my hands. That's about it. Is there anything else? Any further advice you'd like to give?

 

[darksouls]

I regret having wasted my entire life on fake friends

 

[Grimlock]

I am not sure there are any outside of what you have already mentioned. Without friends you will be free from all the negatives that come with that kind of relationship, but it is not much of a pro since you are missing out on the benefits as well. Where the quality of the friendship is concerned: good friends > no friends > fake/bad friends.

 

[Manaaja]

You don't have to pretend. You can be authentic. You don't have to lower your standards and hide your true beliefs.

Also, you don't start to associate things with people.

I had a few chats with someone who turned out to be a really shitty idiot from a certain place. Guess what I now think of every time I hear the name of that place? I wish I could remove it.

Likewise with one game. I wanted to play it. Then I met a person who was extremely obsessed with that game, and now I can't play that game.

 

[apooka]

i find that with friends, they can be really great and important. but even if they're nice, that doesn't mean that they'll be able to relate to you, which can end up making you feel worse. i assume you're feeling not the best because you're on here, so i just wanna say that even people with good intentions can end up hurting you.

 

[nocatwaslost]

If you go to a rave/festival you don't have to discuss which stage/floor you want to go to. You can stay and go whenever you want to and just do as you please. I sometimes really enjoy it, but of course miss the presence of others from time to time

 

[goodbye-to-a-world]

Less loss to grieve. My therapist tried to pull the "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" thing (about a crush but he was also a friend so I lost twice in one fell swoop), and I can say I've never agreed with that. I'd very much rather never have loved because I wouldn't be missing anything if it never existed in the first place. I've learned nothing from the experience of losing friends and it's only left me hurt and feeling stupid each time. No friends means you don't have to deal with that.

Also less loss to grieve in an actual existence sense too. If something bad happens to your friend or someone they care about, that's another layer of grief you'll have to prepare for eventually depending on your closeness.

Less obligation is another one. No birthdays to remember, no stress over gifts or nice experiences, no constantly feeling the need to monitor if you're being as good of a friend as you should be or how engaged the other is in the friendship. You can just exist without having to juggle another person and their feelings on top of yours.

Just my thoughts.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Honestly, liking my friends too much was probably part of my downfall. I didn't need to take so much joy in my college buddies. I should have worked on building real world success. THEY got their schoolwork done, though.

 

[zdeweilx]

I regret having wasted my entire life on fake friends

Couldn't have said it better

 

[ipmanwc0]

Bad friends are worse than no friends. But it would be wrong to say that having no friends is better than having good friends, humans evolved to need others unfortunately. Your biology doesnt allow you to be better off alone.

 

[Pati]

You don't have to pretend. You can be authentic. You don't have to lower your standards and hide your true beliefs.

Also, you don't start to associate things with people.

I had a few chats with someone who turned out to be a really shitty idiot from a certain place. Guess what I now think of every time I hear the name of that place? I wish I could remove it.

Likewise with one game. I wanted to play it. Then I met a person who was extremely obsessed with that game, and now I can't play that game.

For me that kind of place would be all of France

 

[Pallf]

Free time is massively underrated.
No guilt for not going to meetups.
I enjoy not being a crutch for others emotionally or mentally.
You learn to become at peace with yourself.
No drama, no arguments, no cold shoulders.

I like casual friendships but nothing more. once it gets too close, demands start being made and I want no part in that.
I like going to my flgs for magic the gathering. I'm friendly towards the regulars and play with them. I do not want to go their birthday party. That's my preferred level of friendship.

 

[maylurker]

honestly lack of friends and genuine connection contributes the most to my ctb wish. i tried to cope but its never the same. i feel isolated and unwanted