Method ways to ctb slowly/over time? i have a reason for asking

[Caribbean Sky]

I have severe underlying illness, but I don't know what it is.
however, it could be slowly degrading my sanity.
ive already decided i want to die, long ago. it's set in stone.
but in case i lose my mind or are unable to ctb due to loss of capability then i want a method that starts killing me slowly as a backup.
i don't mind if it's painful. my illness is painful. unfortunately i don't know what it is and while i have hope, i can't bet on it killing me.
I know a disease or poison is probably what will do that. I saw on wikipedia HIV as a suicide method, but…no…and as a girl, how would I even…
I know this is very unusual. But I don't mind if it's painful. I don't mind how.
If I do lose the ability to ctb though i could be stuck suffering…for a very long time.
I already have 2 methods with me, sn or opioids.
So I need a back up plan in case it becomes too late.


Some info on my illness:
Fatigue and a deep pain throughout my body, feels like it's in my bones.
Starting to bruise constantly and get fevers too.
No doctor can say what it is. For some reason, I have gotten no positive tests. Though I've also never had a CT scan anywhere other than my head, and only blood tests, no smears.
occasional neurological symptoms, like temporary facial palsy and palsy in my arms.
Also moments where I will fall asleep for a very short time suddenly, and be confused when I wake up.
but recently, I have felt more and more confused and changes in my emotions and personality, including intense fear, and loss of reasoning and something else I can't put my finger on.
So I have reason to believe I could lose my capacity or sanity

 

[Deepdense]

Arsenic build up.

 

[reticulator]

Eating deep friend fatty food every day for every meal, or chain smoking a couple packs a day?

 

[Caribbean Sky]

Eating deep friend fatty food every day for every meal, or chain smoking a couple packs a day?

with the food thing what are you referring to? cardiac failure or cancer? because that would take TOO long and doesn't have a 100% chance to happen unfortunately, plus would need to keep the action of eating going. I was thinking one-time or two-time exposure and then there's nothing I can do to cure my self kind of strategy.
Same with chainsmoking, if you mean like lung cancer.
with anything that increases risk of cancer, it's still very rare to get.

Arsenic build up.

can you tell me where I could research this further?

 

[skybox]

Start smoking cigarettes.

 

[Caribbean Sky]

Start smoking cigarettes.

what exactly does that kill me from? because all I can think is, I have to do that every day (instead of one and done or 10 times and done) as I get sicker and there's not a 100% chance of like, cancer or something.

But maybe you know of something else or exactly.

Not trying to be rude, sorry. Not trying to be rude with any of my replies here. Just trying to ask questions!!

 

[xlostie]

If cigs killed so easily they would have been banned ig lol :D. I don't really remember as I saw this a long time ago but there was a dude who made videos smoking a lot of cigs, even things like smoking 50 cigs at once using gas masks and stuff and I think it took too much time till he got cancer idk if it's what op is searching for :p. I've been smoking maybe a pack and a half everyday for like 5 years and the only thing for now is that I run short of breath easily and bad taste in my mouth in the morning :D

 

[Caribbean Sky]

If cigs killed so easily they would have been banned ig lol :D. I don't really remember as I saw this a long time ago but there was a dude who made videos smoking a lot of cigs, even things like smoking 50 cigs at once using gas masks and stuff and I think it took too much time till he got cancer idk if it's what op is searching for :p. I've been smoking maybe a pack and a half everyday for like 5 years and the only thing for now is that I run short of breath easily and bad taste in my mouth in the morning :D

i'm sorry if I wasn't super clear on exactly what I am looking for, but hopefully this will clear it up:
I am simply looking for something that will kill me slowly overtime without taking too long, and can't require every day effort because of the risk of me losing mental capability.
smoking will definitely not work because like you said, I'd have to do it every day, for a very long time, with no guaranteed death.
And like I said, can't do something that requires everyday attention because if I get sicker or lose mental capacity, then I can't do it.

I'm just looking for something that will kill me slowly over time, but not too slowly, not more than 1 year to 1 and 1/2 years if possible.
and something that a one time exposure, or at max 10 times exposure to kill me, because I won't be able to expose myself every day until my death unfortunately :(
It seems like a type of poison/exposure or illness would be the method, but that's not a preference, if there's a method without poison/illness I'm fine with that.

ts is not a choice, I fear loss of sanity that will put me in 10x the amount of suffering for 10x longer with no clue the end in sight, and I already want to ctb anyway.
A slow painful death is fine, because my current illness is extremely painful anyway…ts is just a backup in case I lose ability to ctb with sn or opioids which I have with me

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

It's typically not recommended as a method but you could stop eating. It'll probably take quite a while to die from this method (up to a month) and it will be very painful and probably have long lasting effects if you fail. This method is discouraged for a reason but it does theoretically fit what you're looking for. Good luck I hope you're able to find a suitable method.

 

[Caribbean Sky]

It's typically not recommended as a method but you could stop eating. It'll probably take quite a while to die from this method (up to a month) and it will be very painful and probably have long lasting effects if you fail. This method is discouraged for a reason but it does theoretically fit what you're looking for. Good luck I hope you're able to find a suitable method.

this is a good idea, but I don't think it will work. My reason for needing to do this is loss of mental capacity, am I strong enough mentally to not eat food? I think I'm even less strong right now than last year.
this is also more like an active suicide method, a 30-day long ctb instead of waiting for something to kill you without lifting a finger after doing it to urself

good suggestion, though.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

VSED is an excellent option. I've been doing a lot of research on it lately. They use it for people with dementia for the exact reason you stated. You need to make sure you have an advance directive that states that if you lose DMC, that they will stop offering food and drink. Ideally, you'd know when you're getting close and then start the process yourself. Make sure your family and loved ones are on board. Also, make a video of yourself while you still have DMC stating that this is your choice.

Sorry you're having to live with so much pain.

 

[dewdfish]

I'm pretty sure the only method that would work for what you're looking for is starving yourself. It's a non method and it'll require a LOT of discipline to achieve the final results, since it gives organ failures due to malnutrition and so. The maximum I've been able to achieve with VSED was 14 days I think and that gave me an ER entry cause I passed out at work.

 

[Caribbean Sky]

I'm pretty sure the only method that would work for what you're looking for is starving yourself. It's a non method and it'll require a LOT of discipline to achieve the final results, since it gives organ failures due to malnutrition and so. The maximum I've been able to achieve with VSED was 14 days I think and that gave me an ER entry cause I passed out at work.

I just don't think I'll be able to, without hospital intervention which I don't have as I lack a diagnosis. :(
especially if I begin to lose my mind, I mean then I'll have even less discipline.
VSED is actually the literal opposite of what I need - it's a conscious, discipline-requiring ctb method. I need to be killed while unaware and unable.

People with the cigs have the right idea but it's not guaranteed.

If there's some kind of deadly illness out there, maybe I could expose myself repeatedly to something with a high chance of contagen/poison/contracting it, then when I get it (bc depending on the condition it would be obvious) I'll die.


Surely I can give myself some kind of deadly illness and just avoid medical care or avoid spaces where I could be seen and taken to ER (because of unresponsiveness)? Or poison myself with some kind of slow acting poison? Surely I could do that instead of something that I won't have the discipline for?
Even if severely painful
maybe even if it was incurable, or got to a final enough stage, then I could be euthanized without cures being attempted.

VSED is an excellent option. I've been doing a lot of research on it lately. They use it for people with dementia for the exact reason you stated. You need to make sure you have an advance directive that states that if you lose DMC, that they will stop offering food and drink. Ideally, you'd know when you're getting close and then start the process yourself. Make sure your family and loved ones are on board. Also, make a video of yourself while you still have DMC stating that this is your choice.

Sorry you're having to live with so much pain.

I don't know if my illness will kill me because I don't know what it is. It surely seems likely, but idk for sure.

And if nobody is doing it for me idk how I would do it, with my sanity seeping away.
I have looked into advance directives. If I lose my sanity with no evidence of a physical health condition, I won't be allowed to die or be euthanized. I'll be taken to an asylum and suffer until I die of old age or my illness. Hell no.
I wish this would work, but it won't. ESPECIALLY with slow loss of mental capability.
Surely I can give myself an illness or a slow-acting poison.