Want to go oit with a bang

[nothingmakessense]

Not literally. I don't own a gun. I am ready and plan to ctb this week if I'm lucky. But I want my death to tell a message. My death was avoidable.

People in my life neglect me and I was abused so severely. I am beyond ill. In excruciating pain. And my body and brain are no longer mine.

I need ideas.
I read some ppl burn themselves alive to make a statement. Sounds like terrible way.

 

[LostHighway]

write a long death note (or notes for specific people). and find the most painless way to end your life. why literally torture yourself? It will only make you out to be a crazy person rather than someone who has suffered enormously. those well chosen words will have more impact. but i hope you can get therapy, maybe medication, find a warm and accepting support network, join a community of people who want to heal, etc. there are books about people who suffered immense abuse but went on to have meaningful lives. maybe just writing letters to these people - but not sending them - would be therapeutic. i wish you well.

 

[enjoytheride]

write a long death note (or notes for specific people). and find the most painless way to end your life. why literally torture yourself? It will only make you out to be a crazy person rather than someone who has suffered enormously. those well chosen words will have more impact. but i hope you can get therapy, maybe medication, find a warm and accepting support network, join a community of people who want to heal, etc. there are books about people who suffered immense abuse but went on to have meaningful lives. maybe just writing letters to these people - but not sending them - would be therapeutic. i wish you well.

I second this. I would also add that it's best if you are able to try to stay in this world for yourself, for the sake of your future self whom needs you. Not for others, especially if they are being toxic. You have inherent value independently of what others think or the way they treat you. If you can, cut the veins of toxic friendships and relationships. If you can, throw a toxic job under the train, and you never know if the next one won't be the one to bring you stability and peace.

If you have the time and will, please have a look at this e-book: https://qprinstitute.com/pdfs/Forever_Decision.pdf

Best wishes