PenguinsAreCool
New Member
- Aug 22, 2025
- 1
Im so lost. Ive barely begun life and yet I feel like its all too tiring. Ever since highschool graduation I've felt like I'm a nobody-
A lost soul just wandering around until my final days.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, who cares for me and loves me, but I don't know how or what to do if I were to leave. Because I'm just so tired of living.
I've tried to work 3 jobs, all of them ending not too long after I started. Each one made me want to kill myself, and because of that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. That was last year, and just recently, I tried applying for a job, but when the interview was around the corner, I spiraled and canceled, leaving me still unemployed. That's when I found out I had ergophobia.
Ever since than I've been in a terrible mood. Im scared, anxious, tired, angry. And its affecting my relationship with my bf. Sometimes I want him to break up with me so I wouldn't have anything or anyone else keeping me on this earth. Many times before, I've spiraled to the point of asking for us to break up so I could just die. But he stayed with me.
Now I feel lost because I know he loves me a lot, but im just so tired of living and feeling like a failure that I just wished I was dead. Though, I wouldn't even know how I'd end my life if I could..
Anyway, this is my first thread here, and I doubt it'll be my last.
A lost soul just wandering around until my final days.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, who cares for me and loves me, but I don't know how or what to do if I were to leave. Because I'm just so tired of living.
I've tried to work 3 jobs, all of them ending not too long after I started. Each one made me want to kill myself, and because of that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. That was last year, and just recently, I tried applying for a job, but when the interview was around the corner, I spiraled and canceled, leaving me still unemployed. That's when I found out I had ergophobia.
Ever since than I've been in a terrible mood. Im scared, anxious, tired, angry. And its affecting my relationship with my bf. Sometimes I want him to break up with me so I wouldn't have anything or anyone else keeping me on this earth. Many times before, I've spiraled to the point of asking for us to break up so I could just die. But he stayed with me.
Now I feel lost because I know he loves me a lot, but im just so tired of living and feeling like a failure that I just wished I was dead. Though, I wouldn't even know how I'd end my life if I could..
Anyway, this is my first thread here, and I doubt it'll be my last.
