Venting ugly girls club

[toro]

being like an actually legitimately ugly girl is probably one of the most embarrassing things about my life right now. i hate when people lie to your face and you can see them trying to invent a compliment but they genuinely have nothing to pick so its a 'ohh you have amazing eyes :)'. you cant acknowledge being ugly without people seeing it as a beg for attention but you cant try to make yourself prettier either because then its just cringe how hard you're trying and still looking like a mess. i am 20 years old and i look simultaneously 12 and 30, my nose is too big my top lip is too small and my eyes are too far apart. there is no value in existing in the world as someone who is both ugly and uninteresting, but that's my entire life. the only men that have ever been interested in me have been adults while i was a child or men that fixate on sex and wanting to hurt me and i just want to feel pretty so badly. ill never have sex because i hate myself and i refuse to let anyone see me in as disgusting a state as i am when im nude. every other 'ugly girl' out there has beautiful features and at the very least good humour but i may as well be made of cardboard. this post means nothing and adds nothing, i just wish i could take off every feature of my face so i could be left completely blank. if i ever do kill myself there wouldn't be a widespread sympathy for it like the beautiful victims get and I've made peace with that, some people are born to be ugly and left as the filler of society but i just wish so badly that i could've been pretty for even a day

 

[sadalways]

I feel pretty much the same (although i'm not a girl) about myself except nobody has ever complimented me in any way other than like a grandma saying i have nice eyelashes but don't beat yourself up over it too much. I know it's really hard if you don't like the way you look, these thoughts are absolute SHIT and i wish i could take them away from everyone. I don't know what you look like and i really understand that last sentence ESPECIALLY, but everyone has their ups and downs. The models that do look """""""""perfect""""""""" and i use this word very... carefully? because ain't nobody is perfect, but besides that they probably have shit personalities and their whole thing is them just looking "good". Which is boring. And even then everyone has their own tastes and different views on beauty.

 

[TheHolySword]

I understand your feelings. There is only one person who ever legitimately found me beautiful, but I ruined things with her. I can't even look in a mirror with crying anymore. I hate myself so much, I wish I could be pretty.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm also not that good-looking. I haven't really been hit on irl that many times in my life (only about 3 times in total and only once as an adult). My face is kind of fat-looking and very round and my under eyes are dark. My eyebrows are weirdly shaped and my lips are large. I also have an overbite. My breasts aren't perky, my ass is small, my hands and feet are large, and my lower legs are covered in bumps and scars due to my habit of plucking my leg hair. The only bright side is that I look young for my age (I'm 21 but people tend to mistake me for being 15) so people tend to go easy on me.

 

[SVEN]

I'm also not that good-looking. I haven't really been hit on irl that many times in my life (only about 3 times in total and only once as an adult). My face is kind of fat-looking and very round and my under eyes are dark. My eyebrows are weirdly shaped and my lips are large. I also have an overbite. My breasts aren't perky, my ass is small, my hands and feet are large, and my lower legs are covered in bumps and scars due to my habit of plucking my leg hair. The only bright side is that I look young for my age (I'm 21 but people tend to mistake me for being 15) so people tend to go easy on me.

Jesters make it on their ready wit & in depth mental resources, trust me.

 

[divinemistress36]

I bet you arent as ugly as you think you are

 

[maniac116]

A persons true beauty comes from the inside. I've gone out with beautiful looking people who were absolute pigs on the inside!
My 3 longterm relationships were with people just average look but they all were beautiful on the inside & wonderful to be around.
Don't beat yourself up too much. Our TV & movies are generally setting a terrible example. Be yourself & unleash your inner beauty!

 

[ctemourge]

relate.
i only get compliments on my hair. so i cut it. i hate the sight of myself, but so does everyone else so who can i blame lol

 

[_Maya]

Pretty privilege is real, people treat you like literal shit if you aren't beautiful enough for them. Its so degrading, especially with someone like me who has crooked teeth and Bilirubin syndrome which causes my skin and eyes to become yellow. Anytime I look in the mirror i just want to claw at my own skin and eyes, especially with gender dysphoria, its just salt in the wound.

 

[ihatemyselfsomuch]

If you're a girl under the age of 25 it's practically impossible to be ugly so long as you are not overweight.

Older women - including those who aren't necessarily ugly - are who I feel sorry for because the degree to which youth is emphasised in female attractiveness is insane. And of course age is something which you cannot change.

 

[spicerymer]

I used to be pretty before I got depressed. Unfortunately I'm not one of those depressed people who can't eat because they're sad, I do the opposite and eat my feelings. So now I'm fat and because I've been eating so much sugar my face is swollen and spotty. My eyes look so small because of how big my face is. Even my nose has got bigger from being so bloated and I can't even bare to look at myself in the mirror. I'm barely showering because the thought of touching my naked body makes me feel disgusting. I absolutely hate myself and don't think anyone will want to be my friend if I look like this.

 

[Higurashi415]

Pretty privilege is real, people treat you like literal shit if you aren't beautiful enough for them. Its so degrading, especially with someone like me who has crooked teeth and Bilirubin syndrome which causes my skin and eyes to become yellow. Anytime I look in the mirror i just want to claw at my own skin and eyes, especially with gender dysphoria, its just salt in the wound.

I find it funny in a way how incels (and not only incels quite frankly) tend to mistake pretty privilege for "females have it better". Like, ugly females have it rough pretty much the same way ugly males do. Hate it so much. Ugly females are so discriminated against that nobody even talks about it. Taboo, almost.

(PS: I'm not all there right now, so I want to make a clarification that I hope was not needed to avoid inadvertently offending someone: I don't mean to say that you or anybody else who commented on this is ugly AT ALL, it's just a thought I've had in my head for a while. Incels talk a great deal about how ugliness impacts their life completely forgetting that ugly females exist too. Maybe there are less ugly females, maybe not, but pretty privilege exists regardless)

 

[grapevoid]

I bet you're more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. On the flip side… if you feel ugly, there are a lot of options to fix things you don't like about yourself. If you feel beautiful you will look beautiful. I don't care what anyone says, I hated my tiny upper lip and started getting fillers yearssss ago. I'd never go back! I don't get so much they look unnatural but enough that I like how my lips look. Worth it. Do whatever you want that makes you feel pretty..

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If you're a girl under the age of 25 it's practically impossible to be ugly so long as you are not overweight.

Older women - including those who aren't necessarily ugly - are who I feel sorry for because the degree to which youth is emphasised in female attractiveness is insane. And of course age is something which you cannot change.

Dude, did you just come on here to invalidate other women's experiences? There are plenty of women under 25 and who aren't overweight that have trouble with their appearance. Also, why specifically "under 25"? That's fucking weird and gross. Get your Leo Dicreepio ass out of here.

 

[CeaseExist]

Can't relate, I'm in a "Pretty club" unfortunately.

Buuut I think I can add something to the convo, about Pretty Privilege. I've gotten away with so much shit through my life just because I look cute when bare faced and handsome with facial hair (I have somewhat androgynous looks), it's insane. I shiver on the thought of me not being attractive on top of everything else in my life, probably wouldn't handle it at all.


Even in school when I was 13 years old, teachers liked me just because, always taking it easy on me and letting me pass anyway, even without putting in work (hence my incredible gaps in education, thank you corrupt teachers!). Funny thing is, before I got 13 years old, I was actually a fatass and ugly, so basically everyone had a field day with me and I just endured being made fun of. But when new school year started, the perfect timing as I hit puberty, almost nobody recognized me. I've gotten taller, slimmer, put on some muscle and overall gotten fit also (I've played sports through whole vacation, but I blame the puberty and the genetic lottery mostly)

You could literally see the change in peoples attitude real-time. Suddenly your peers come to talk to you, they play with you, don't make fun of you but with you and even go as far as touching you "jokingly" like saying "Hey, I wonder if *name* is just hiding his belly!" just for an excuse to get physical with you and touchy feely your stomach lol. Ehh kids, number 1 sex offenders in the world, yet always getting away with it unpunished.

It's really crazy how much looks play a role in your social standing, even if you were some kind of oddball people would still interact with you and like you. Disgusting.
If I offended someone or didn't add any value to the convo you can insult me freely, you have my pass.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If you're a girl under the age of 25 it's practically impossible to be ugly so long as you are not overweight.

Older women - including those who aren't necessarily ugly - are who I feel sorry for because the degree to which youth is emphasised in female attractiveness is insane. And of course age is something which you cannot change.

Do you not see the "inherent error" in these statements?

 

[amomentspeace]

Same. It's the reason I don't like going out. Not only will i never be a real woman, I'm not attractive as a guy either. I wish I could have no body

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm not attractive and people have told me that my whole life. Used to bother me a lot prior to early 20s.

I invested my time in developing my intelligence and people started respecting me for that so at some point I stopped caring about my appearance as much.
On the flip side, if something happens and I feel dumb, that affects me deeply. I need to be and feel smart as it's all I have.

If you can work on your appearance, things you can change, that's great, but if not, you could look at improving another facet of yourself so that you can get self love from your strenghts instead of self hate from your weaknesses.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Wow, I could have written this exact post. I understand exactly how you feel, right down to the, only older adult men looking to take advantage of me were interested when I was an underage girl, there was no one my own age who would ever bat an eye. Not being in the "pretty club" or subject to the halo effect makes women vulnerable targets to such creeps, and it isn't talked about enough.

I've experienced the same phenomena of men only wanting you for sex too, several times. So many bad and damaging relationships, where the only thing they could compliment me on is, "you have big boobs", it makes me feel disgusted because I have never gotten a single compliment about my face from a partner. I prefer other women, but have never been able to find other gay women since I hit adulthood, it's only been older men interested in me, on the rare occasions when someone has actually wanted to pursue me.

I have really ugly facial features for a woman, like an overbite, low brow, ptosis and hooded/droopy eyes, and chin/jaw recession due to the overbite. Got some filler but it didn't help too much, I want to get serious cosmetic work before I die but it's so ridiculously expensive. Every group of people I've been around has always preferred tiny, petite Asian women, and I've been called fat so many times, even though I am not overweight, just because I have a curvy figure that looks like shit with most clothing.

People say that we should just accept how we are, beauty is on the inside, etc, but appearance plays a big role in how an individual is treated by those around them, not just in romantic relationships or friendships, but in casual interactions and employment too. If there is any procedure, beauty product, etc, that makes you feel more confident and beautiful, don't worry about what other people say and just go for it. The standards imposed upon women are so extreme and we deserve to feel better about ourselves and enhance our confidence if there is an opportunity to do so.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

At least people still want to fuck you. I'm like a 6/10 in my own opinion, 7/10 on a good day, but women see me as a 2 anyway. Women have such high standards it's basically the same as being an ugly guy. If you're not an 8/10+ then women think you're ugly. And it's no secret how disgusting women think the male body is, except if it's perfect.

Not that I don't sympathize with your plight. I know it sucks both ways. Probably more for women. But male body dysmorphia is on track to overtake female dysmorphia. I'm not trying to make this a gender war, just it's the only way I can approach it is through my own understanding and my own complaints. And since it feels like men are more fair to women about their looks, it does trigger some sensitivity in me. I know it is hard for you, and this is your post, and I support you.

At the same time, looksmaxing is a thing for both men and women. Hell you can paint on an entirely new face. There's probably someone somewhere that can help you do your makeup to where you could have that wish of being pretty, even if only for a day, but maybe more than a day. Some people say it's misleading, but you know, at least you will get to experience it.

There will be technology in the future that will be able to change us to look whatever way we want. Even the worst characteristic you have even if you changed just one with plastic surgery maybe it wouldn't be unbearable then. I'm not recommending that, just saying that's what a lot of the Hollywood actresses do. And they often edit their photos to make them look prettier than they really are.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

At least people still want to fuck you

I do feel for you, and realize how difficult it is for men especially these days when so many people are isolated and indoors leading to less opportunities for finding love, and the internet has created unrealistic standards, but I don't think this was the right thing to say to a woman who was victimised by men when she was a child. Being sexualized but not loved is a horrible thing for many women. Being taken advantage by men when you are young and still mentally a child is a horrific and traumatizing experience, it's not something to envy.

For women, emotional connection is often key. We don't like feeling like a piece of meat for pleasure, romance often goes beyond mere physical attraction. A man could have the build of a greek god or peak conventional attractiveness (which isn't my type but I recognise for a lot of girls it is) but if he makes a woman feel insecure, or unloved, unsafe, etc a woman will naturally pull away from that unless she's already attached and invested, hoping he'll change.

If a woman feels like she's only good for sex and that the relationship is contingent on maintaining attractiveness, the bond with her partner isn't really strong. There's a lot more factors that go into dating and connection for a woman. I'm not someone who wants kids, but if you are, women will be thinking about, is this guy reliable, dependable, is he caring? Will be be a good father and long-term partner who can split responsibilities fairly? Will he love me even when I start aging?

So women are not just thinking about sex when considering potential partners, it's a whole lot more than that. I know I can never truly understand what men are feeling, as a woman, and I don't want to derail the thread or minimize your feelings, I just wanted to give you my own two cents. Thinking about relationships through the lens of sexual attraction only and not emotional intimacy is a mistake many people make.

 

[grapevoid]

For what it's worth - being pretty doesn't change your brain. I spent the majority of my life and even now often questioning if people actually like me or if they're just nice to me because of how I look. If you're depressed, you'll find a way to be depressed about even the things others would consider a "blessing"

Not minimizing your feelings, just pointing out that feeling good starts on the inside- not on the outside.

 

[Killmeonce]

Pretty privilege definitely exists. When I was younger I would get excused a lot, like if I forgot my bus pass I would still be let on the bus. No problemo. Then I developed a severe skin condition. And wowser. I was more likely to get chucked off the bus, even with the bus pass, lol. I've since had men laugh at me, slam doors in my face, even some store workers would be rude to me - even though I was just trying to buy food, and wasn't even trying to date them. I've had male co workers tell me that my sister is the good looking version of me. Women have been more empathetic, because I suppose, if it happened to me it could happen to them. But honestly I hate it when I hear online men say, "Women can't be ugly, only males can be". What?? How does that even work?

 

[Michelstaedter]

Social norms and other rubbish make us perceive ourselves as ugly or attractive.
I remember when, due to bullying and rejection by girls in high school, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror for several years. Now I look at myself and honestly I see nothing more than a normal, ordinary human being. I don't consider myself ugly or attractive. I rejected and will reject all that bullshit about physical "beauty", when in reality it is simply part of the social rot that has done so much to humanity, especially in this modern world that is so deranged.

 

[Mocha]

I find it funny in a way how incels (and not only incels quite frankly) tend to mistake pretty privilege for "females have it better". Like, ugly females have it rough pretty much the same way ugly males do. Hate it so much. Ugly females are so discriminated against that nobody even talks about it. Taboo, almost.

(PS: I'm not all there right now, so I want to make a clarification that I hope was not needed to avoid inadvertently offending someone: I don't mean to say that you or anybody else who commented on this is ugly AT ALL, it's just a thought I've had in my head for a while. Incels talk a great deal about how ugliness impacts their life completely forgetting that ugly females exist too. Maybe there are less ugly females, maybe not, but pretty privilege exists regardless)

The thing is, incel men typically only consider the sex aspect of things. To hell with the fact she doesn't fit the "standard", and gets mistreated, and has to work harder to be seen as equal to her more attractive counterparts socially, intellectually, and in her career! The fact she can get sex with desperate men means her life is obviously so much better then an ugly or even average man's life!

Ugh.