Discussion Trying to help people before i ctb

[Blueberry Panic]

I love this forum, it's morbidly become a special interest of mine to just scroll through every post and do what I can to give advice or share my own past with other users.
I have grown to have such a fascination with death and suicide that at one point I wanted to make a career out of it ... but I'm way tooooo mentally ill to do that.
It's difficult to even just get out of bed let alone leave the house and ... socialize irl .
I'm agoraphobic but I have severe bpd so I'm always in the cycle of wanting to isolate but also be around people.

My life was interesting it really was but at this moment I'm just counting my days until I'm ready to ctb this month , in the meantime I'll be here doing what I can to help other users find peace whether that be through recovery or by ctb.

The saying goes ... new year no me
Anyways if anyone has any questions at all feel free to ask.

 

[Chemi]

It's always a pleasure to see your posts. Have learned a lot from them so thank yuuuuuu <3

 

[DeadManLiving]

Benevolence in the final times leading up to the(end) is definitely one way to take the sting out of the process

 

[jatty]

I love your posts so much
I feel like you could be a fantastic writer or blog writer, it would be such a fresh perspective for the world. Unsurprisingly suicide literature, even nonphilosophical, is still extremely rare, and isolating for suicidal folk.
But alas I understand very well. I hope you have peace.

 

[Dr.Duck]

Love seeing you here!!! Sorry I've been inactive. You really are a great person and it's sad that suck great people alway CTB. It's places like this that make us live a day longer. Hope to see you on the other side!

 

[marksofdespair]

I love this forum, it's morbidly become a special interest of mine to just scroll through every post and do what I can to give advice or share my own past with other users.
I have grown to have such a fascination with death and suicide that at one point I wanted to make a career out of it ... but I'm way tooooo mentally ill to do that.
It's difficult to even just get out of bed let alone leave the house and ... socialize irl .
I'm agoraphobic but I have severe bpd so I'm always in the cycle of wanting to isolate but also be around people.

My life was interesting it really was but at this moment I'm just counting my days until I'm ready to ctb this month , in the meantime I'll be here doing what I can to help other users find peace whether that be through recovery or by ctb.

The saying goes ... new year no me
Anyways if anyone has any questions at all feel free to ask.

I've always wanted to do that too. Become a mental health advocate for the right reasons opposed to just saying crap like "it gets better" and "you're not alone"... It makes me sad knowing I'll never get to do this because just like you, I myself feel I am too far gone to help others and plan to die soon. Most mental health "activists" or therapists are performative pieces of shit that have never been through anything and would never understand our real struggles. I find it admirable that someone who's been at their absolute lowest, suicidal, hell maybe even on SaSu themselves, would turn their life around and become a staple that so many of us could really benefit from. I feel like it would give people like us more hope that maybe things ACTUALLY could get better.