Too lazy/weak to CTB?

[in hell out soon]

Does anyone get that feeling? The vibe?

I get a lot of executive dysfunction with my disabilities, but I don't know. I think I'm not really just too weak or tired, I just don't have the reliable method and again the executive dysfunction is kicking my ass.

My brains always so loud. Thank you for reading though I apologise if the above is hard to understand!

 

[OminousVaL]

Currently too weak but each day I get stronger. You are understandable to me.

 

[Ghost2211]

It might just be time yet. Survival instinct presents in a lot of ways.

 

[Roberto]

Does anyone get that feeling? The vibe?

I get a lot of executive dysfunction with my disabilities, but I don't know. I think I'm not really just too weak or tired, I just don't have the reliable method and again the executive dysfunction is kicking my ass.

My brains always so loud. Thank you for reading though I apologise if the above is hard to understand!

Sometimes pressure, anxiety is the ignition spark. Sometimes you are 50% want to live / 50 to die. And I need a little kick on my butt to move on the plans.

 

[in hell out soon]

Thank you.

And I'm not sure. I'm 24, been suicidal since I was nine and have had a couple of attempts already. If I had the reliable method I'd be gone. The closest thing I have handy would require being a liar and a thief and I don't want to do that. It'd involve stealing a few days worth of my moms pain meds (amongst other things) and leaving a note so that she can get more at the GPs or whatever but If it doesn't work then she'd be in pain for the days she's not taking them... it'd be planned for when her tablets are all done up so that she's got lots left and stuff but...

don't feel great about the thief or lying parts.

closest other methods are cutting (unable to do it reliable because dyspraxic) and bleach but I think that one being so painful and unreliable is out of the picture...

but the right method and I'd be gone. Like a button that kills me immediately and painlessly, I'd be smashing it instantly.

 

[Roberto]

Thank you.

And I'm not sure. I'm 24, been suicidal since I was nine and have had a couple of attempts already. If I had the reliable method I'd be gone. The closest thing I have handy would require being a liar and a thief and I don't want to do that. It'd involve stealing a few days worth of my moms pain meds (amongst other things) and leaving a note so that she can get more at the GPs or whatever but If it doesn't work then she'd be in pain for the days she's not taking them... it'd be planned for when her tablets are all done up so that she's got lots left and stuff but...

don't feel great about the thief or lying parts.

closest other methods are cutting (unable to do it reliable because dyspraxic) and bleach but I think that one being so painful and unreliable is out of the picture...

but the right method and I'd be gone. Like a button that kills me immediately and painlessly, I'd be smashing it instantly.

I understand. I would be in heaven if I had that button. A big hug