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RainyDaysGrapefruit

RainyDaysGrapefruit

Member
Apr 27, 2023
19
I'm not necessarily suicidal. I'm not making an active plan, I'm not actively looking for a way to CTB. But I always think that if I was to have a gun or another way out near me, would I do it? The answer is usually yes, but I just feel stupid for not being able to figure out a plan myself. I feel so sluggish from college work that I can't even think up a good plan. I don't know what to do, it feels so hopeless but I just try and keep going forward with the hopes I'll finally find that way out, or at least gain enough energy to make an actual plan.
 
RainyDaysGrapefruit

RainyDaysGrapefruit

Member
Apr 27, 2023
19
You can check out the Suicide Resource Compilation if you don't know anything about methods.
It's less that I don't know them, more so I don't have the ability to do them. Ever since my earlier suicide attempts, a lot of what I could use is locked up. And because the nearest psych ward is more like an 1800s institution, I know I would need to do it on the first try.
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,363
It's less that I don't know them, more so I don't have the ability to do them. Ever since my earlier suicide attempts, a lot of what I could use is locked up. And because the nearest psych ward is more like an 1800s institution, I know I would need to do it on the first try.
I understand. I hope you find your peace nevertheless.
 

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