
tsumihoroboshi
Lost Impact
- Oct 31, 2023
- 233
if you have OCD and general intrusive thoughts maybe don't read because i don't wanna trigger any paranoia with this but...
how do you guys leave the house? to go to jobs? to just get outside? go to the store?
i am extremely scared of getting murdered by someone. how do you not deal with the fear of being murdered?
i guess bcus we're all suicidal but... i still can't do it. i'd want it to be at my own hands, not someone else's.
i can't remember what triggered my agoraphobia but i havent left the house since i was a teenager *2 decades ago...yeesh.
i've left to go to appointments and see family and that's it. that's months and months apart and i always had another family member take me. i cannot leave alone. i'm too scared of being murdered. i look up crime statistics daily and where i live murder isn't common and hasn't been for years but i can't stop the fear. even walking to the mailbox terrifies me but i've been getting help with it slowly.
idk how people just go on with their lives like that. walking places alone. driving alone. is it because you plan to ctb anyway so being murdered is nbd? i could accomplish going so many places if i didn't have this horrible fear. AND YES i've been told "well someone can just break into your house and kill you", yes i have many defensive weapons for such cases but i fear that less since i am already at home?
my mom watches true-crime like all the time and has had friends and known people that have been killed and i've asked her this and how she can still leave the house and she just says "well i have to work". this isn't enough for me. my brain will not let me stop obsessing over this forever.
sorry if this is extremely off-topic and incoherent i don't really have the clearest frame of mind rn.
how do you guys leave the house? to go to jobs? to just get outside? go to the store?
i am extremely scared of getting murdered by someone. how do you not deal with the fear of being murdered?
i guess bcus we're all suicidal but... i still can't do it. i'd want it to be at my own hands, not someone else's.
i can't remember what triggered my agoraphobia but i havent left the house since i was a teenager *2 decades ago...yeesh.
i've left to go to appointments and see family and that's it. that's months and months apart and i always had another family member take me. i cannot leave alone. i'm too scared of being murdered. i look up crime statistics daily and where i live murder isn't common and hasn't been for years but i can't stop the fear. even walking to the mailbox terrifies me but i've been getting help with it slowly.
idk how people just go on with their lives like that. walking places alone. driving alone. is it because you plan to ctb anyway so being murdered is nbd? i could accomplish going so many places if i didn't have this horrible fear. AND YES i've been told "well someone can just break into your house and kill you", yes i have many defensive weapons for such cases but i fear that less since i am already at home?
my mom watches true-crime like all the time and has had friends and known people that have been killed and i've asked her this and how she can still leave the house and she just says "well i have to work". this isn't enough for me. my brain will not let me stop obsessing over this forever.
sorry if this is extremely off-topic and incoherent i don't really have the clearest frame of mind rn.