Story This is kind of a story/vent I Suck

[Serio]

So I am a complete fuck up I have a 1.4 gpa and I'm not smart and whenever I try to get the motivation to actually study or become not the dumbass I am it never works because I just always feel like I wanna die so often that I can't motivate myself and then I also act a complete fool by laughing at things constantly and looking dumb just to try and numb down my pain on the inside The other day thou which is the story time part I was hit really hard with this feeling of how I am stupid and worthless because my boyfriends friends online in a voice chat were calling me slow and stupid and I know they were probably joking but I couldnt tell also the call was a little glitched so all I could hear the entire time was my name being said and them saying I was slow and dumb and then drawing arrows to my charachter (we were in a game) and saying I was like dumb and autistic basically so my anxiety spiked super high and i didnt go to sleep at all yesterday and even skipped school today which also doesn't help with my grades and then my boyfriend has like honor role so I feel worthless compared to them and like I don't deserve them because I am only going to drag them down because I am probably never going to be anything in life because of my grades and also I am emotionally unstable so I just want to break up with them because they would probably be more succesfull in life being with someone who isn't a dumb idiot like me but at the same time I really like them and they are legit one of the only reasons I haven't CTB yet so I dont want to. Btw sorry if i did this wrong I am new this is my first post

 

[Oyoy]

So I am a complete fuck up I have a 1.4 gpa and I'm not smart and whenever I try to get the motivation to actually study or become not the dumbass I am it never works because I just always feel like I wanna die so often that I can't motivate myself and then I also act a complete fool by laughing at things constantly and looking dumb just to try and numb down my pain on the inside The other day thou which is the story time part I was hit really hard with this feeling of how I am stupid and worthless because my boyfriends friends online in a voice chat were calling me slow and stupid and I know they were probably joking but I couldnt tell also the call was a little glitched so all I could hear the entire time was my name being said and them saying I was slow and dumb and then drawing arrows to my charachter (we were in a game) and saying I was like dumb and autistic basically so my anxiety spiked super high and i didnt go to sleep at all yesterday and even skipped school today which also doesn't help with my grades and then my boyfriend has like honor role so I feel worthless compared to thm and like I don't deserve them because I am only going to drag them down because I am probably never going to be anything in life because of my grades and also I am emotionally unstable so I just want to break up with them because they would probably be more succesfull in life being with someone who isn't a dumb idiot like me but at the same time I really like them and they are legit one of the only reasons I haven't CTB yet so I dont want to. Btw sorry if i did this wrong I am new this is my first post
Try not to feel stupid. Your boyfriend may have high scores but he is no saint for not being more supportive and his schmucky gaming friends are mean loosers who should care what you think of them. You kept calling your b friend them sounds fun
Stay vibrant and lively cus that's what counts.