There's no one to talk to.

[Oublivien]

There's no who, so how do you divert?

Things constantly repeat in a cycle, with no solution.
It's difficult for me to safely self-harm, because I can't get caught. Cuts on the arms will not work. I don't know what else to cut. I'm not sure what heals effectively.
I have to make sure I seem sane on the outside. So there will be no screaming. And there really is no one for me to talk to. Online is not a solution.

What are your methods for surviving the torrent of thoughts?

 

[a.hamza.13]

Maybe doing something that makes your heart sing.

 

[Oublivien]

Maybe doing something that makes your heart sing.

The more I do things I used to love, the less I want to do them.
At first I did things I loved doing. But they're just not helping anymore. It's going away.

 

[areyousafe??]

I used to use Penzu, sort of like a digital journal which you can download on your phone and lock it with a passcode. Typing out my thoughts tricks my brain into thinking my thoughts are going somewhere.

 

[domedune]

What are your methods for surviving the torrent of thoughts?

I think,,, I like stimming (especially pacing back and forth) and listening to music can help. Drawing and writing, especially if I let myself go. Consuming the same media I know I like over and over. Even if it's not as interesting the nth time, it can be enough to rely on for baseline occupation of thought.

At first I did things I loved doing. But they're just not helping anymore. It's going away.

I might take this, numbness?, as a sign that your life needs a big change in order for it to be sustainable. I'd guess you'd be numb to things you would love if you're exhausting so much energy just coping with life's stressors. That's my experience anyway, but you know you best.

 

[Languish]

The benefit of schizophrenia - there is always someone to talk to. Ugh

 

[a.hamza.13]

The more I do things I used to love, the less I want to do them.
At first I did things I loved doing. But they're just not helping anymore. It's going away.

Maybe playing challenging games might help 'cause they're so distracting.

 

[Oublivien]

Maybe playing challenging games might help 'cause they're so distracting.

I used to play a lot of sudoku, minesweeper, etc, but it's too mindnumbing and I realized it's super unhealthy because every time I come back to the real world everything will be worse.

I'm 2000 rated in chess, but I banned myself from playing chess because of a similar reason. Distracting your mind only works while you're actively doing the thing. But I have obligations so it'd be better if I could just cut, and then be in pain for 3 hours while I focus.

I've tried journaling or talking to myself, but afterwards I just feel empty. And my memory gets a lot worse for a while afterwards too. I'm pretty sure there's some other issue that's happening with those, but I've tried it and it doesn't work in a way that seems to assist me.

I cannot change my life too much at the moment. I need to make it through a period of time (probably 6 months or 2 years), after which I might be able to give up completely. But right now I'm around too many other people constantly, even when I sleep there are people through the wall. I have nowhere to scream, and not enough time in between. The last thing I want is for people to think I'm not ok.
(Wow that's a terrible quote)

 

[a.hamza.13]

I used to play a lot of sudoku, minesweeper, etc, but it's too mindnumbing and I realized it's super unhealthy because every time I come back to the real world everything will be worse.

I'm 2000 rated in chess, but I banned myself from playing chess because of a similar reason. Distracting your mind only works while you're actively doing the thing. But I have obligations so it'd be better if I could just cut, and then be in pain for 3 hours while I focus.

I've tried journaling or talking to myself, but afterwards I just feel empty. And my memory gets a lot worse for a while afterwards too. I'm pretty sure there's some other issue that's happening with those, but I've tried it and it doesn't work in a way that seems to assist me.

I cannot change my life too much at the moment. I need to make it through a period of time (probably 6 months or 2 years), after which I might be able to give up completely. But right now I'm around too many other people constantly, even when I sleep there are people through the wall. I have nowhere to scream, and not enough time in between. The last thing I want is for people to think I'm not ok.
(Wow that's a terrible quote)

I guess it's you who could decide what's the best remedy for your brain to be distracted. For me learning science and asking myself the right questions is so distracting.

 

[campo d'erba]

I used to play a lot of sudoku, minesweeper, etc, but it's too mindnumbing and I realized it's super unhealthy because every time I come back to the real world everything will be worse.

I'm 2000 rated in chess, but I banned myself from playing chess because of a similar reason. Distracting your mind only works while you're actively doing the thing. But I have obligations so it'd be better if I could just cut, and then be in pain for 3 hours while I focus.

I've tried journaling or talking to myself, but afterwards I just feel empty. And my memory gets a lot worse for a while afterwards too. I'm pretty sure there's some other issue that's happening with those, but I've tried it and it doesn't work in a way that seems to assist me.

I cannot change my life too much at the moment. I need to make it through a period of time (probably 6 months or 2 years), after which I might be able to give up completely. But right now I'm around too many other people constantly, even when I sleep there are people through the wall. I have nowhere to scream, and not enough time in between. The last thing I want is for people to think I'm not ok.
(Wow that's a terrible quote)

I used to do this too, watching shows, sleeping, coding complex programs, making intricate origami. Anything to not think or be alive. I'm sorry for you. I understand where you come from

 

[Oublivien]

Everything gets worse