Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
A week ago, I felt like I had everything, but now I feel like I have nothing again. Took no time at all.
Did I actually gain anything during the last week or so? I don't remember honestly. Maybe I just felt that way, I don't know.
I hate how some moments it feels like you're the untouchable god looking down on everyone but at other times you're just a lowly peasant who's never going to go anywhere, and is stuck in the same niche for all their life.
The wheel has taken an especially bad turn this week. My nonexistent motivation has been worse than usual, I'm not having fun playing games anymore, and I can't enjoy any TV shows or anything. I want to go out and actually contribute something to society, but whenever I get the thought of doing so, my social anxiety decides it wants to punch out my intestines for a few hours.
The good thing about feeling like dirt is that I'm more desperate, so I might take a level in guts and shove a knife into my stomach, or maybe stop drinking or eating things and let myself wither away. I'll still probably be some coward who can't die with my luck, so unfortunately it probably won't happen.
Did I actually gain anything during the last week or so? I don't remember honestly. Maybe I just felt that way, I don't know.
I hate how some moments it feels like you're the untouchable god looking down on everyone but at other times you're just a lowly peasant who's never going to go anywhere, and is stuck in the same niche for all their life.
The wheel has taken an especially bad turn this week. My nonexistent motivation has been worse than usual, I'm not having fun playing games anymore, and I can't enjoy any TV shows or anything. I want to go out and actually contribute something to society, but whenever I get the thought of doing so, my social anxiety decides it wants to punch out my intestines for a few hours.
The good thing about feeling like dirt is that I'm more desperate, so I might take a level in guts and shove a knife into my stomach, or maybe stop drinking or eating things and let myself wither away. I'll still probably be some coward who can't die with my luck, so unfortunately it probably won't happen.
