This might resonate with older people more.
When I was young, I went to school. And after that to college. Worked for a bit and then went to grad school. There were better times and worse times, but life was more predictable not. The highs and lows were relatively modulated and, at worse, I suffered from existential angst, uncertainty about the future, and not getting laid enough. I went through periods where Ia was happy and had lots of friends; and I went through periods where I was dysphoric and felt lonely. But I was always part of a tribe, and I knew what I was supposed to be doing.
But, as an adult, I have swung from wild highs to wild lows. Two marriages. Two children. One divorce and now one separation. Fantastic early career success, followed by an early retirement, followed by running out of money. After my first divorce, which coincided with a period of business setback, I was so depressed and I thought life would never be the same. Fast forward a couple of years, and I was hitting the ball out of the park. Happy, rid of a BPD ex-wife, with an adorable daughter, and financial matters back on track. I could never have predicted it. Nor could I have predicted that that period of happiness would ultimately give way to another marriage, another child and ultimately another down cycle in everything.
So here I am again. At the bottom of the roller coaster ride. I am older, but seemingly no wiser. Life has taught me that I don't know what the next five years will bring. It could be a return to happiness or might CTB next month. Am I at the bottom of the roller coaster or at the end of the ride? I don't know.
When I was young, I went to school. And after that to college. Worked for a bit and then went to grad school. There were better times and worse times, but life was more predictable not. The highs and lows were relatively modulated and, at worse, I suffered from existential angst, uncertainty about the future, and not getting laid enough. I went through periods where Ia was happy and had lots of friends; and I went through periods where I was dysphoric and felt lonely. But I was always part of a tribe, and I knew what I was supposed to be doing.
But, as an adult, I have swung from wild highs to wild lows. Two marriages. Two children. One divorce and now one separation. Fantastic early career success, followed by an early retirement, followed by running out of money. After my first divorce, which coincided with a period of business setback, I was so depressed and I thought life would never be the same. Fast forward a couple of years, and I was hitting the ball out of the park. Happy, rid of a BPD ex-wife, with an adorable daughter, and financial matters back on track. I could never have predicted it. Nor could I have predicted that that period of happiness would ultimately give way to another marriage, another child and ultimately another down cycle in everything.
So here I am again. At the bottom of the roller coaster ride. I am older, but seemingly no wiser. Life has taught me that I don't know what the next five years will bring. It could be a return to happiness or might CTB next month. Am I at the bottom of the roller coaster or at the end of the ride? I don't know.
