i haven't even got to the stage of CTB yet, even though I now have everything I need for the SN method, but already my survival instinct is mentally torturing me. I so wish it would just stop and leave my mind in a bit of peace for once.
Its latest method is somehow to whisper to me that "things might improve" or "things might get better ... you never know". When every bit of evidence in my various situations indicates that nothing, but nothing, is going to change. And that evilly minded survival instinct tells me these things even while I'm in absolute tears and shivering with fear, or at other times quietly (so as not to alarm the neighbours) screaming and swearing furiously at the wall.
Right now, if I had a bit of spare cash, I would pay some violent thug to visit me and repeatedly kick some sense into me.
Its latest method is somehow to whisper to me that "things might improve" or "things might get better ... you never know". When every bit of evidence in my various situations indicates that nothing, but nothing, is going to change. And that evilly minded survival instinct tells me these things even while I'm in absolute tears and shivering with fear, or at other times quietly (so as not to alarm the neighbours) screaming and swearing furiously at the wall.
Right now, if I had a bit of spare cash, I would pay some violent thug to visit me and repeatedly kick some sense into me.
