the "helpful" vs the abusive

[Life_and_Death]

i find it awful fucking interesting that the people that "want" to help me, that "actually" give a fuck on a different level ALWAYS FUCKING DITCH ME WHEN I NEED THEM, but the people that hurt me, the ones im better off without, are there...asking if im ok.
you fucking assholes want me to be ok,, but dont do shit when the dark side calls.
living hurts and every second feels like another reason to die...


context:
i asked one of my "friends" if we could talk, right after mentioning ive been feeling like ive been lacking personal space from males. he says sure, sends me 1 message then disappears for the weekend. randomly comes back today "i was gone and forget to tell you".
i wish people would just fuck off.
he didnt even say sorry, which honestly im a little glad for thanks to my fucking exSO. because of him everythings my fault and i feel like shit now. another one that was suppose to give a shit only adding to my bullshit.
he still hasnt even answered when i called him on it "what happened to talking?". probably has some stupid reason if hes going to answer at all, which he probably wont.
im so fucking sick of humans
"if you killed yourself id think about all the things we could have done" JUST TALK TO ME. but apparently thats to fucking difficult for anyone. just hand me the fucking gun

 

[a_dead_mess]

I'm sorry people are mistreating you, I personally lost hope in people some time ago but I know how hurtful it can be when someone just stops caring all of a sudden. I hope you'll find better people who care about your existence more than your death.

 

[Life_and_Death]

care about your existence more than your death.

that explains it perfectly

 

[a_dead_mess]

that explains it perfectly

reminds me of a person talking about their suicide attempt. he was a father of a disabled child and he was failing so hard in life that he decided to jump in the water. right, when he was about to attempt, a lady holding a child walked in front of him and she was having a conversation on the phone. when he eavesdropped he listened to her essentially begging for money from friends and family after her husband died. he said at that moment I realized how fucked up it'll be if I left my family in such society that doesn't give a fuck about you even after you die.

the world we live in is extremely fucked up

 

[Life_and_Death]

society that doesn't give a fuck about you even after you die.

thanks not entirely true, they pretend to for the first 5mins lol

 

[a_dead_mess]

thanks not entirely true, they pretend to for the first 5mins lol

I don't think "pretend" means much in the long term but I get what you're saying. it's honestly a complicated topic for me in a way because different people treat others on different levels of respect and care so sometimes we like to think that someone cares about us a lot when they actually don't. idk, that's just my opinion