Thank you all<3 leaving soon

[Done]

Hi guys,

I had been "lurking" here for a while and then finally created an account when I first purchased N. After a few hiccups with the whole N thing, I finally received it. Then I waited a couple of weeks to save up money for a hotel, take off of work, and spend time with my family and friends and eat a lot of good food lol.

I just had my best "last" meal at a phenomenal seafood restaurant in Queens. (It won't be my last meal but was the best food I will have before I ctb). Tomorrow I check into the hotel. I will spend one day at the hotel, probably watching movies I love, listening to music, going to eat, gamble and have a drink or two. Then on Friday I will ctb.

I will update this thread tomorrow because I can't tell anyone else in my life what I will be up to. I really appreciate everyone here. Even if we didn't speak personally, reading everyone's comments makes me feel like we are a quirky, beautiful family in a way. :)

Also, does anyone else read "ctb" as "kick the bucket"? LOL. Please tell me I'm not the only one lol!

<3

 

[Madrid27]

a real pleasure, beautiful!

 

[skitliv]

Great post, I wish you the best of luck and hope to join you soon

 

[Lara Francis]

Wishing you a safe journey to the other side.

 

[Ben]

Hi guys,

I had been "lurking" here for a while and then finally created an account when I first purchased N. After a few hiccups with the whole N thing, I finally received it. Then I waited a couple of weeks to save up money for a hotel, take off of work, and spend time with my family and friends and eat a lot of good food lol.

I just had my best "last" meal at a phenomenal seafood restaurant in Queens. (It won't be my last meal but was the best food I will have before I ctb). Tomorrow I check into the hotel. I will spend one day at the hotel, probably watching movies I love, listening to music, going to eat, gamble and have a drink or two. Then on Friday I will ctb.

I will update this thread tomorrow because I can't tell anyone else in my life what I will be up to. I really appreciate everyone here. Even if we didn't speak personally, reading everyone's comments makes me feel like we are a quirky, beautiful family in a way. :)

Also, does anyone else read "ctb" as "kick the bucket"? LOL. Please tell me I'm not the only one lol!

<3

Hey I fucking love what ur putting out there, not asking for sympathy, not expecting users to post "OMG THIS PERSON DIED". It's easy to tell who was serious about their intentions by the lack of that user posting...not to discredit failed attempts...but don't you EVER expect somebody to go through greif more then once.

If you say your dead, and make all the right moves to make us believe you, only to have you return a few days later saying "lul I couldn't do it". You can take any sympathy I had for you on your first attempt, and slice that MORE then IN HALF if it's your "second goodbye"

If you accept the sympathy of other accpectiing your death, only to return a few days later? Yea, you're gunna get the boy who cried wolf treatment!

 

[akosineenee]

I might be a little late with my deadline, but hope to join you on the other side soon. Good luck and goodbye. Glad you're enjoying your last days.

 

[Decker]

I hate posting on a public forum. However I felt I had to in this case. 'Done' you are a beautiful soul. I hope you find peace. I wish you did not have to do this :,( but I understand. I will miss your sweet personality and mature insight while I am still here! I hope you enjoyed your day today. If anyone deserves that you do!

 

[Deleted member 847]

for me it was cease to breath at first lol

 

[skyofAuroras]

Sounds like you really planned this out. I know I've never talked to you before but I hope you enjoy your last moments. Good luck and may you find your peace.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Good luck on your journey.

 

[tearsinrain]

Done, I hope you have a very peaceful journey, and also enjoy your final day before. You're a beautiful soul <3

 

[Abel]

You seem like a truly wonderful person. I wish you all the best.

 

[windingdown]

All the best to you!

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Hey I fucking love what ur putting out there, not asking for sympathy, not expecting users to post "OMG THIS PERSON DIED". It's easy to tell who was serious about their intentions by the lack of that user posting...not to discredit failed attempts...but don't you EVER expect somebody to go through greif more then once.

If you say your dead, and make all the right moves to make us believe you, only to have you return a few days later saying "lul I couldn't do it". You can take any sympathy I had for you on your first attempt, and slice that MORE then IN HALF if it's your "second goodbye"

If you accept the sympathy of other accpectiing your death, only to return a few days later? Yea, you're gunna get the boy who cried wolf treatment!

I disagree with this. If you change your mind and decide to come back, you are more than welcome here. No one should ever be pressured to kill themselves.

 

[Volatile]

Hey I fucking love what ur putting out there, not asking for sympathy, not expecting users to post "OMG THIS PERSON DIED". It's easy to tell who was serious about their intentions by the lack of that user posting...not to discredit failed attempts...but don't you EVER expect somebody to go through greif more then once.

If you say your dead, and make all the right moves to make us believe you, only to have you return a few days later saying "lul I couldn't do it". You can take any sympathy I had for you on your first attempt, and slice that MORE then IN HALF if it's your "second goodbye"

If you accept the sympathy of other accpectiing your death, only to return a few days later? Yea, you're gunna get the boy who cried wolf treatment!

I doubt OP cares about your sympathy due to you being a stranger

 

[Ben]

I disagree with this. If you change your mind and decide to come back, you are more than welcome here. No one should ever be pressured to kill themselves.

Yes of course, they should always be welcomed here. But, if I spend my energy sharing compassion and support with somebody who tells me they are going to die tonight, and they don't? And they do it again, and again, and again. I'll never say you shouldn't be here, but they next time you say "tonight is the night" I'll wait until the morning before I reply to that.

 

[Ben]

I doubt OP cares about your sympathy

I don't care if they don't care about it, they will get it anyway, until I see it being abused, then I'll just let them do their thing without being apart of it in any way.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Yes of course, they should always be welcomed here. But, if I spend my energy sharing compassion and support with somebody who tells me they are going to die tonight, and they don't? And they do it again, and again, and again. I'll never say you shouldn't be here, but they next time you say "tonight is the night" I'll wait until the morning before I reply to that.

Since we're all suicidal here, we obviously all have our struggles. I think someone is deserving of sympathy whether or not they say they're going to kill themselves. Different things have pushed us to this point and we of all people should be empathetic. Killing oneself is one of the most difficult things to do and for some people they really struggle with that decision. They may be ready only to change their mind, and they may do this multiple times. It's a real struggle and I emphathize with those who go through it. To say you would have no sympathy in that case is a bit harsh, and is almost like egging someone on to commit suicide, like a dare.

 

[Ben]

Since we're all suicidal here, we obviously all have our struggles. I think someone is deserving of sympathy whether or not they say they're going to kill themselves. Different things have pushed us to this point and we of all people should be empathetic. Killing oneself is one of the most difficult things to do and for some people they really struggle with that decision. They may be ready only to change their mind, and they may do this multiple times. It's a real struggle and I emphathize with those who go through it. To say you would have no sympathy in that case is a bit harsh, and is almost like egging someone on to commit suicide, like a dare.

Ok, I'll have to harshly disagree with that. IM NOT ENOURAGING OR DARING ANYBODY TO CTB just because I will withhold my sympathy after multiple fails. I have plenty of compassion, I hold a greater value on life then a lot of users I see here, so it actually kind of upsetting to be told I'm trying to egg people on.

I spend a lot of energy replying to every post, replying to everything, listening and offering advice and opinions.

I'm not saying people who don't succeed are fakers. I'm only saying, I'm willing to accept a death twice at the most. Any more then that, I will not spend my time saying the same things i said last time. That doesn't mean I don't give a fuck about that person, it just means I'm emotionally EXHAUSED trying to comfort and support them.

 

[Aragon]

Good luck OP. No I thought "ctb" was just random letters, I later learned it was "catch the bus." Usually I just say it like it is. Well I wish you well. I'm having a shitty time myself, wish I had some "N." Not to worry I'll get there in the end.

 

[Aragon]

Since we're all suicidal here, we obviously all have our struggles. I think someone is deserving of sympathy whether or not they say they're going to kill themselves. Different things have pushed us to this point and we of all people should be empathetic. Killing oneself is one of the most difficult things to do and for some people they really struggle with that decision. They may be ready only to change their mind, and they may do this multiple times. It's a real struggle and I emphathize with those who go through it. To say you would have no sympathy in that case is a bit harsh, and is almost like egging someone on to commit suicide, like a dare.

Emphasise/Emphasize? Yes, we all can do that. No I wouldn't want to EGG someone on to kill themselves, it's "their" choice. I don't control what they do with their lives. I just envy that they have what I don't which is "N." I feel my demise is going to be me suffering... something I didn't initially want, but it's either that or enduring stupidity and I find that is the only escape. I could run away, but then I'll waste away, and suffer even more so.

 

[Done]

Hey everyone :) I'm in the hotel room now. When I arrived earlier I slept for quite a while so didn't get to do as much as I wanted to but it's ok. I've lived enough lol. I gambled a little, won $4 haha, and ate some great Vietnamese food. I was going to go back out to maybe get a drink but it's sort of raining and the area is shady at night. I have some leftover food and going to eat the rest in a few. Now I'm going to watch some movies :) Thelma & Louise on my computer for sure and will probably pay to watch a movie in my room, probably The First Purge.

And thank you everyone for your comments. You guys are the kindest, realest and most expressive people I've ever met. I haven't received this much love from people in my real life. <3 I'm a little nervous of course but determined and your words really do help. Thank you so much.

(Also I can't believe no one else reads it as kick the bucket lol.)

 

[Ben]

Today is your day. I wish you a easy transition to death, and I promise I'll do my best to provide the same love and support to others, as this place gave to you.

Put your best foot forward when you KTB <3

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I wish you the best

 

[MachineGunDani]

I don't know you but I wish u the best! I'm glad ur finding peace! We'll be here if u change ur mind! Good luck!

 

[DeathBecomesMe]

You seem like a really warm person. Reading through some of your posts I get the sense of a caring, rational, beautiful soul.

If you do decide to ktb, I hope that you will enjoy your final moments, thinking happy thoughts and of the better times that you enjoyed. The world can be an ugly place, better suited and easier to accept for the less caring and self-indulgent.

Don't be too harsh on your self, if at all you don't feel ready, there is always another time. Whatever happens, I wish you great peace and contentment. x

 

[Deadinside24]

Hi guys,

I had been "lurking" here for a while and then finally created an account when I first purchased N. After a few hiccups with the whole N thing, I finally received it. Then I waited a couple of weeks to save up money for a hotel, take off of work, and spend time with my family and friends and eat a lot of good food lol.

I just had my best "last" meal at a phenomenal seafood restaurant in Queens. (It won't be my last meal but was the best food I will have before I ctb). Tomorrow I check into the hotel. I will spend one day at the hotel, probably watching movies I love, listening to music, going to eat, gamble and have a drink or two. Then on Friday I will ctb.

I will update this thread tomorrow because I can't tell anyone else in my life what I will be up to. I really appreciate everyone here. Even if we didn't speak personally, reading everyone's comments makes me feel like we are a quirky, beautiful family in a way. :)

Also, does anyone else read "ctb" as "kick the bucket"? LOL. Please tell me I'm not the only one lol!

<3

I hope your bus rides is smooth and peaceful. Best wishes to you

 

[Regisphilbin_savant]

Peaceful ride to you done no matter the outcome

 

[Synthroz]

I hope everything works out and you can find the peace you desire.

 

[IDontWantToBreathe]

Hey I fucking love what ur putting out there, not asking for sympathy, not expecting users to post "OMG THIS PERSON DIED". It's easy to tell who was serious about their intentions by the lack of that user posting...not to discredit failed attempts...but don't you EVER expect somebody to go through greif more then once.

If you say your dead, and make all the right moves to make us believe you, only to have you return a few days later saying "lul I couldn't do it". You can take any sympathy I had for you on your first attempt, and slice that MORE then IN HALF if it's your "second goodbye"

If you accept the sympathy of other accpectiing your death, only to return a few days later? Yea, you're gunna get the boy who cried wolf treatment!

I literally called someone out for that And they gave me a hard time and reported me.. He made several "attempts", several "goodbye forever" posts and this guy would disappear for days and come back " I couldn't do it.".. Like what the fuck? Meanwhile he's handing out suicide advice and methods to ensure attempts to be fatal. People get on my damn nerves. Well said though , Done has the right idea of how you say a final goodbye.