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333.333

333.333

Member
Oct 11, 2023
22
now that I know that I don't want to be here anymore I started to test myself to see if it was just me saying words. Yesterday I hyperventilated with a plastic bag, but stopped cause there were people in my house. Today I took a bath and stayed inside the watter for a long time but cam out to breathe; I also harmed myself until I saw blood, for the first time. And I've been really calmed the three times... so i guess i could do it.

I started to write this at 10PM and now I had 1 hour of therapy where my therapist said that what Im thinking comes from a filter of sadness and depression and its not my reality. I told her that I knew that but just thinking that I did those things and felt just relaxation, i dont know. Sorry, I dont know what im writting, just venting. Again.
 
Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,701
Vent away. If it helps you sort all this out, it is time well spent.
 
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