I have been living in the past again the last couple of days. Thinking about my x girlfriend, who I met online, and then just a few weeks later I flew to her town, she and her mother met me on the airport, and I stayed over for one night, only for one night because we haven't met before, in those days webcams/smartphones were not a thing, so I had to have a plan B if things did not workout. But everything worked out, it was magical.
Sometimes I think back in time, the life I had, the opportunities that I threw away, so many opportunities. It breaks my heart, it really does, it is so painful to think about it, I can never forgive myself.
17 years later , and I am a total different person, living in confinement, staring at a gas cylinder, cant think of anything else than dying. Would I go back in time if I could? absolutely, sometimes in life you meet the right people, people who would be there for you for the rest of your life. Sometimes one is too foolish/young/arrogant to see that, and then push those people away, and you endup alone.
Not only did I push her away, but so did I push away my best friend (of 18 years), he died while I was away on a trip overseas, I can never go back.
Sometimes I think back in time, the life I had, the opportunities that I threw away, so many opportunities. It breaks my heart, it really does, it is so painful to think about it, I can never forgive myself.
17 years later , and I am a total different person, living in confinement, staring at a gas cylinder, cant think of anything else than dying. Would I go back in time if I could? absolutely, sometimes in life you meet the right people, people who would be there for you for the rest of your life. Sometimes one is too foolish/young/arrogant to see that, and then push those people away, and you endup alone.
Not only did I push her away, but so did I push away my best friend (of 18 years), he died while I was away on a trip overseas, I can never go back.
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