Suicide over not wanting to work

[Spiritual survivor]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I know that this life can be unbearable when everything is hopeless. I do wish we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and we can talk openly about wanting to leave this world. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Painless_end]

Sorry for your pain. I hope you find peace.

 

[headspin]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

I am very much where you are, and at 47 I am just done. I can't envision a future since my life got torn to pieces. Especially since I will be battling biploar 1 with pyschosis for the rest of my life, as well as continual phased of MDD. The depression would hit even when my life was going well and I was functioning, with a job etc. What everything has come to now is makes it even more layered.
I think my soon to be ex husband and son will be relieved to not have to deal with a wife/mother who is mentally ill. I really have been a burden, its not just in my head. Its all just too painful. Its manifesting in physical pain too.
I feel horrible about about the amount of stuff I am leaving behind. I have done my best to sort and get rid of as much as I can, but I have no energy left.

 

[Alnilam]

I feel the same way. I suffer from chronic pains and a severe case of agoraphobia. Life is painful, stressful and depressing enough but the work just makes it ten times harder. I don't have many options for a career path in my situation either. I feel trapped, ctb just seems like the only way out nowadays. The things I do enjoy are locked behind a paywall, but the strain that working puts on my body and mind just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Completely relate to you. I've been lucky enough to be freelance in a job I mostly enjoy for the past few years. I'm finding it less rewarding now though to be honest. I'm working every day and I know it just isn't feasible money-wise.

One of the major reasons I want to ctb is the prospect of going back into some shit job that I will detest. I worked in retail for 10 years earlier in my life and I'm dreading being back in that mindset. Part of me realises I'm being like a spoilt child- kind of- if I can't have my way, I'll quite but my 'career' has always been everything to me. I don't have a family, don't really have friends I see or keep in touch with and my hobby is my job pretty much.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to ctb because of your job- it's what we spend the largest percentage of our lives doing. Plus, I don't think I've ever worked for a company that doesn't exploit its staff. Feel like that alone is depressing. We're all pretty much in servitude. Maybe it's bearable if you are working towards something- material things for yourself or your family but when you don't even enjoy living, what the hell is the point?!!

 

[hamvil]

I can relate with you. I am also in a job I hate but I cannot quit because I would not know how to get another one. I am 43 and it is too late for me to start all over again and find a new career, i know some people are able to do it but I feel just too tired. I hope to leave all this behind soon. Hope you also get what you desire.

 

[yuzuchan]

I'm only 30 but have struggled to work my self. I'm sorry for the pain you and everyone here who wants to ctb feels.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Nothing is boring to us about what you're feeling. I'm 43. I just woke up and am sitting here talking myself into not going to work. Not because I hate my job or anyone there. But because it all falls under the umbrella of life. Just like having to get out of bed, brush my teeth, get dressed, drive to work. It's all the equivalent of climbing mount everest to me, every single task. Everything under this umbrella is a burden. I just don't want to be under this umbrella anymore.

 

[ojinzo]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

This has a lot to do with my ctb plan as well. I'm 2020, I lost everything and became homeless. I pulled myself out it and found a job and new place but both are awful. I'm 36. I can't continue like this. No one can or is willing to help me so I'm planning the end. I totally understand your reasons. Many will say it is a dumb reason but are those same people willing to find you a new place to live and pay for it while you sell treatment. No one ever is but always wants to encourage us to continue suffering

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

Your pain is as real and legitimate as anyone else's.
I'm so sorry you're hurting. Wishing you peace and comfort.

 

[The Abyss]

If you're ugly or just can't fit in (neuro divergent for example) this makes perfect sense.

Like how a party is great for some but like having teeth pulled without anaesthetic for another.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

If you're ugly or just can't fit in (neuro divergent for example) this makes perfect sense.

Like how a party is great for some but like having teeth pulled without anaesthetic for another.

I'm a neurodivergent for sure. Always been the awkward person.

 

[Hollowillow]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

So many must feel this way... I wish you could get month of rest on disability. Mine turned into 20 years. No one wanted me, at least they liked you. I hope you'll save a 3rd week to enjoy yourself before you nope out of the slave system. I envy your freedom.

I am very much where you are, and at 47 I am just done. I can't envision a future since my life got torn to pieces. Especially since I will be battling biploar 1 with pyschosis for the rest of my life, as well as continual phased of MDD. The depression would hit even when my life was going well and I was functioning, with a job etc. What everything has come to now is makes it even more layered.
I think my soon to be ex husband and son will be relieved to not have to deal with a wife/mother who is mentally ill. I really have been a burden, its not just in my head. Its all just too painful. Its manifesting in physical pain too.
I feel horrible about about the amount of stuff I am leaving behind. I have done my best to sort and get rid of as much as I can, but I have no energy left.

Please forgive my condescending dumb ass... But my heart scream to open this door for you: nutritional deficiencies cause mental illness. B cause nerve pain, exhaustion, psychosis. C cause joint pain, anxiety. Reactive hypoglycemia looks bipolar on a graphic. You're not mentally insane. You worked hard for your family & society fed you toxic crap. You're a wounded caring hero *hugs* You deserve to hear it once before the big sleep. Please forgive me if it was rude. Psychiatry is the worst gaslight by narcs I have ever seen and must stop denying our needs and blaming us for feeling emotions. We're not robots slaves. We have needs. And it's about time they're cared for... You're a sweet suffering fluff... You don't deserve those cold labels & shame. You deserve to be free!

This has a lot to do with my ctb plan as well. I'm 2020, I lost everything and became homeless. I pulled myself out it and found a job and new place but both are awful. I'm 36. I can't continue like this. No one can or is willing to help me so I'm planning the end. I totally understand your reasons. Many will say it is a dumb reason but are those same people willing to find you a new place to live and pay for it while you sell treatment. No one ever is but always wants to encourage us to continue suffering

You're alive!!! What happened to renting a hotel room & doing a self murder buffet? I'm glad you're doing more research, some ways seemed to be torture with little chance if success (sepuku without friendly decapitation)

Aw... You've been homeless. My worst fear. I'm amazed you found a home and a job. I was given everything on a silver platter as a disabled but I ruined it all like a dunbass... ....

 

[The Abyss]

I'm a neurodivergent for sure. Always been the awkward person.

If you're set on the big dead, best thing you can do is get as much money together & awol, live it up for a bit before going, go out with a good time.

 

[GoForDeath]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

Nah I get it, it's the same issue for me, except I want to work

 

[NEARLYTime]

I feel like I'm not able to handle my job anymore and was going to go give my two weeks notice and then exit. I have friends and people who will be upset but at the end of the day there is no other solution to my problem. If I don't have a job I have no place to live etc. This post is not very unique I'm sorry to be boring. I'm sure so many people take their life over this same issue. The hardest part about this is that u can't tell anyone and it has to be all secretive. That feeling like, if they only knew how badly I hate my life and want out while the entire time putting on a face like everything is fine. I have mostly survived my life but never really had a life. At age 45 I'm so ready to go.

if you won the lottery would you stay and be happy, or is there more to it than that?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I have always been incredibly incompetent at work but never really thought about it until recently - I Finally woke up and put all the pieces together- I always found a way to blame other people for things not working out … I finally realize that I am the problem… Not sure where my incompetence comes from - laziness, a sense of superiority, anxiety, fatigue…. The only way my life would have worked out would have been to inherit or marry into a lot of money… Or get lucky in some other way… But I've never consistently applied myself… So now I'm just running down the clock on my savings…

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

I am kinda in the same situation. It's not that I don't want to work. It's that I run into so many interpersonal issues with my coworkers that it makes it difficult to keep a job. I'm willing to do anything. I have like 15 different jobs on my record though and I'm only 24. All of them I've quit after pissing off my coworkers. I don't know what it is that I do or say that causes the problem. But it's a problem regardless.

 

[JayLa16]

My job is a HUGE contributor to my depression. I've been working remotely since the pandemic began and the isolation has really done a number on my mental health. The culture of my corporate company is also extremely toxic...lots of backstabbing, jockeying for position, and poor work/life balance. Unfortunately I live in a very high cost of living area and my job pays well...so I feel pretty much trapped...and I also feel guilty for complaining when several of my friends who live in the area are struggling just to make ends meet.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

if you won the lottery would you stay and be happy, or is there more to it than that?

I'd stay then lol!

I am kinda in the same situation. It's not that I don't want to work. It's that I run into so many interpersonal issues with my coworkers that it makes it difficult to keep a job. I'm willing to do anything. I have like 15 different jobs on my record though and I'm only 24. All of them I've quit after pissing off my coworkers. I don't know what it is that I do or say that causes the problem. But it's a problem regardless.

This is a big reason I've struggled in jobs too. Seems I become a target for drama. I swear I don't instigate it.