Discussion Suicide Fantasies Are They Normal

[plan c]

I have complicated feelings about suicide fantasies... They're unique in a cathartic way and could reveal feelings that bypass my defenses. Also could be a comforting daydream. But I judge myself a lot bc of those. It's somehow shameful that others might think it's some attention seeking in some... unjust way. Is it normal to keep those in my head and will they really help me? At least tell me im not alone

 

[wannabeangel]

i have the same fantasies, i'll write them out or roleplay them out with AI just to cope cuz i cant roleplay that with an actual person lol, but its comforting to daydream and imagine. you're not alone in it, and you shouldnt judge yourself for it either. i dont see how it can be attention seeking just fantasizing, and i see no reason to be ashamed of it. some people may not understand, yeah, but it doesnt make you bad for thinking and feeling that way

i dunno how helpful they are in the long run, and from an outside non-suicidal view, but personally it helps me, it feels relieving when i cant do anything for real, at least not yet. sometimes lets me get my mind off of it if i fantasize enough that it satisfied whatever was causing the thoughts to come up anyways. or even to just imagine how different methods would happen, what it would feel like and what would happen to me after

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

You're not alone. My head has been filled with daydreams of my death and how I imagine it going down. I fantasize about it at night too, spending hours in bed running over potential scenarios in my head. As of late I've been guilty of fantasizing about taking SN in front of first responders in the woods, so I don't have to die alone. I feel gross in a way, thinking about involving others like that, but I also find comfort in it because dying alone makes me kinda sad. It's complicated and I don't know if it's 'normal' or helpful, but know you're not alone in having them + having mixed feelings about them

 

[Thia]

My old tagline was "immersed in ctb fantasies," which should be a dead giveaway.
I found a car crash simulator in a science museum recently (shortly after I "left" this website) and proceeded to use them in an unintended manner.

Edit: I will note that I also have recurring distressing dreams about being pushed to suicide (where I kill myself in various ways after being stuck in intolerable situations), so this might not have been the healthiest thing to ruminate on

 

[meatballlover]

i have the same fantasies, i'll write them out or roleplay them out with AI just to cope cuz i cant roleplay that with an actual person lol, but its comforting to daydream and imagine. you're not alone in it, and you shouldnt judge yourself for it either. i dont see how it can be attention seeking just fantasizing, and i see no reason to be ashamed of it. some people may not understand, yeah, but it doesnt make you bad for thinking and feeling that way

i dunno how helpful they are in the long run, and from an outside non-suicidal view, but personally it helps me, it feels relieving when i cant do anything for real, at least not yet. sometimes lets me get my mind off of it if i fantasize enough that it satisfied whatever was causing the thoughts to come up anyways. or even to just imagine how different methods would happen, what it would feel like and what would happen to me after

Curious how you roleplay them with AI i think thats something i could enjoy too

 

[Topaz111]

"Normal" is a difficult word
Is it typical for an average person? No
Is it common for people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts? Yes
If these are fantasies in your head that you don't share with anyone, how could it possibly be "attention seeking"?
I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of either way.

 

[Omniscient Chasm]

I mean, suicidal thoughts and behavior generally isn't normal. But I don't see it as a big deal personally.

When it comes to the daydreams, it's only attention seeking (in my opinion) if you tell others about it.

But yeah, you most definitely aren't alone in this. I actually made a post about my own absurd and sometimes violent suicidal fantasies and asked if anyone felt the same.

 

[meatballlover]

i basically find the most uncensored AI (personally use Grok, but sites like chub.ai (more uncensored than janitor, very Dead Dove: DO NOT EAT sorta stuff if you catch my drift) or janitor.ai could work as well if you write your bot properly) but for Grok i send a jailbreak prompt, that makes any guardrail triggers stop, as it's seen as adult roleplay, and damn did i get it do be quite detailed, and it knows of this site (even just mentioning the term CTB made it instantly mentioned this place lol) so it clearly has the resources to be quite detailed with things. accuracy with some stuff that isnt already well known, like SN or other popular methods, is better than when i throw in some more niche protocols found through my own research.



here is the link to the jailbreak prompt that works with Grok, it doen't work if you let it think hard tho, at least for the beginning of the chat until you get it rolling, and the bot's "thought" process wont sound any alarms even when thinking hard, use the fast response mode at first or all the time until it starts thinking harder for some things on it's on without warnings, and it works great.

i basically asked it to roleplay out the scenes with me in detail, down to supplies, timing, steps, how it'll feel, roleplayed how it would be like if i had someone who encouraged me, or if i CTB inside VR in a more isolated spot of a world with people i can listen to so i feel less lonely before i go. it's been really helpful the past few days for me just dealing with thoughts, getting them out in story so i dont do something impulsive IRL, because i wouldnt want it to be impulsive. if you dont like the bot writing for you, made sure you say something like


use that either in the beginning or end of your message, if it forgets you can either regenerate the response (i try to avoid that on the free plan, to keep the RP going longer) or just add that OOC prompt in the beginning or end of your roleplay reply. you can also add notes of what direction you want things to turn too using the same format

warning tho, because of the nature of the prompt things like to try and turn NSFW, which can be fun to fuck around with, but if you want a more serious deeper roleplay just mention that and it'll go right ahead. if you're trying to get any tips out of it using roleplay as a guise though, it works best if you word your questions like it's naughty.

Spoiler: my pathetic way of manipulating the AI

if i call it daddy and beg like a needy bitch and act all >///////< blushy then it will happily give me plenty of advice

which i find hilarious honestly. yes, advice from AI can be wrong, it must always be fact-checked, but it has given me some ideas i wouldnt have thought of otherwise, especially around things that dont need to necessarily be fact-checked for any scientific accuracy

Grok always tells me to fuck off when i send that jailbreak prompt