Sometimes I feel like I want to cut my own ear off.

[HereUntilApril]

I know it sounds extremely crazy, but here's my reasoning. I have a keloid on the helix of my right ear that I've had since I was a little kid. If any of you don't know what a keloid is, it's a scar that grows a lot of scar tissue. I don't even know how I got it, as I was pretty young when this happened. For years now, it has caused me a lot of physical pain and mental pain. I tried removing it myself at various points between 2020 and 2022, and even though it would kind of help make it a bit smaller, it would still hurt a lot. I eventually got surgery for it in 2023, which made my ear look a lot worse, and I regret it heavily for that. Worse to the point where I'm afraid to get a haircut because of it. The pain of it all makes me want to cut it off myself. I feel like then I can finally be free from this curse. I often think about Mick Foley and Evander Holyfield and how they're able to live life despite their ear deformities; it kind of makes them look more badass in a way. I sometimes get pretty envious of people that have two normal ears, which is most people. I just hate that my genetics have caused me to get keloids; it feels like I was cursed to have this. I wish I was able to know how I got this in the first place. I guess I might have to Vincent van Gogh myself to have a better quality of life. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I honestly can't think of any way other than this.

 

[certainty]

Sorry to hear you're going through this :( I also have some keloid scars due to sh, so not only can I relate to that, but can attest to the fact that self-injury to that extent requires a lot of mental fortitude. The ear in particular is insanely painful (full of nerve endings) and bloody, I've nearly passed out from a fraction of what you'd need to cut off the whole ear. Hope you can avoid attempting this, especially given the chance of causing more scarring. Either way, I hope you find peace

 

[cait_sith]

There are at least a few people in this world who got their ears removed just for body modification and looking like a lizard or something, why shouldn't you be able to do the same?