Venting sobriety or whatever lol

[miisterconny]

hey hello, been a bit since my last thread.
tbh at one point i considered writing a thread in the recovery channel, that hope lasted a decade aye? hahajahdjhdjh anyways as i digress, im fucking miserable.
i think i honestly just convince myself im not half the time, survive until it deems the "right time" a load of bullshit im aware, but part of the reason im so upset is probably the fact that im only not miserable when im fuckfaced with SOME sort of substance. because what the fuck?? it is NOT normal to have to be shitfaced the fuck outta on ket to get through a few hours of work.
also, inevitably, its taking a toll on my physical health, im so sick all the time, i feel like SHIT all the time.

another wonderful ponder thought; i wondered truly if recovering was something i could do, to quit being a pussy and at the very least try but fuck, how does one expect me to live dedicated to medication and just surviving, not living??
wish i could ignore a tab, walk past a bottle without a glimpse, maybe id have a chance then.
im so tired.

 

[maniac116]

Have you thought about a 12 step programs to get sober & learn how to deal with your feelings & emotions. I got sober years ago & it made my life better.
I'm not trying to talk you into anything, I'm just wondering if you have?

 

[KillingPain267]

Sobriety, when also suicidal, fucking SUCKS. My physical health FORCED me into sobriety. But I still hear my master, the bottle, shouting to me to come back and I miss him honestly. He gave me security. Being a freeman is chaotic and uncertain and scary.

 

[maniac116]

Ya it is! Every time I started drinking again I always wished I was dead, so grabbing a bottle made sense to me. I thought "fuck it, I don't care anyway".
If you can just get thru one single day, today then it's a start.
Again I don't want you to think I'm preaching!

 

[hereornot]

I can get over anything immediately. I've tried it and never had any problems.

However, when there are situations where you can't stand other people stalking you, voluntarily leaving sobriety helps you maintain your CTB plan.

The classic "get away from me" or you'll find me in heaven.

The worst thing is virtual voyeurs who make your life hell.

 

[miisterconny]

Have you thought about a 12 step programs to get sober & learn how to deal with your feelings & emotions. I got sober years ago & it made my life better.
I'm not trying to talk you into anything, I'm just wondering if you have?

hey! i just read your other reply too and i wish the absolute best for the rest of your life, you seem like an angel :)
and yeah i did forcerehab whilst i was in the mh for a bit last year and it did not help me in the slightest.. im so glad youre doing better tho, i just wish i could stop lol

Sobriety, when also suicidal, fucking SUCKS. My physical health FORCED me into sobriety. But I still hear my master, the bottle, shouting to me to come back and I miss him honestly. He gave me security. Being a freeman is chaotic and uncertain and scary.

dude i hope youre all good now, i understand you completely.
i cant enjoy the smallest things anymore without being fuckheaded drunk or high, really sums up the worthlessness i equipted.
all the best, i hope peace finds you C:

I can get over anything immediately. I've tried it and never had any problems.

However, when there are situations where you can't stand other people stalking you, voluntarily leaving sobriety helps you maintain your CTB plan.

The classic "get away from me" or you'll find me in heaven.

The worst thing is virtual voyeurs who make your life hell.

i dont know how to survive without feeling half gone on the daily, its fucking pathetic im aware but its just somethingi dont think i can control.
i hope all is well for you, hereo, and that everything becomes alright or as close to alright as it can get.