bloomingdark
Alex
- Jan 24, 2019
- 170
So yesterday I planned to hang out with two friends of mine, I was done with almost everything and I made them bought a big beer ,wine and wishkey , I drank a lot I think and I made myself a fool in front of everyone...
I confessed lots of things and I was screaming in pain , it got to the point I started vomiting a lot and I was bleeding trough my nose and vomiting all there in the park we were, I couldn't stop throwing up and i tried to choke myself in my own vomit , I was screaming to them, that they should have let me die, I was telling them to walk away and let me die..
They were worried obviously, i remember everything in phases , they screaming me literary screaming to them to let me choke on my vomit , and then one security guard of the park called the police, I remember asking why they were there , everything was a mess , they asked what happened and my friends told them I was intoxicated with alcohol , they warned them that they were going to call an ambulance if I still throwing up when they came back , so they lift me up (I am a lot taller than them) oh for this moment my boyfriend suddenly appeared and I was throwing up in everyone and everything...
Then we got a taxi I was begging for them to not call home, to take me to one of my friends house and we did , I threw up in the taxis window , I was begging to die again.
They again lift me up with a lot of effort and got me through the stairs to her house, her mom and her brother were they and they helped me I was still having a panic attack, they got me a cubet to throw up and they were discussing taking me to the hospital, I threw up a lot , I can even count how many times I felt my stomach urging to let everything out and I was still so embarrassed and begging to die and telling them they didn't deserve this..
My parents arrived and as I didn't want to see them my friends brother (who studied phycology) explained everything and they were worried but they left
I stayed here with my boyfriend and my friend... We tried to sleep , they got me sleeping to the side so I don't choke on my vomit.. they have to left because my boyfriend has some important medical exams and I am alone and tempted to put myself up ... I may choke and die.
I have never experienced something like that
Pain
Embarrassment
Sadness
Urge to die
I remember when I blacked out for a minute , everyone was talking and i just wanted that peace, it was extremely nasty because I was lying on the floor next to my vomit and i felt it was time... I was ready
I would have die already if I followed my plan of doing it alone...
I confessed lots of things and I was screaming in pain , it got to the point I started vomiting a lot and I was bleeding trough my nose and vomiting all there in the park we were, I couldn't stop throwing up and i tried to choke myself in my own vomit , I was screaming to them, that they should have let me die, I was telling them to walk away and let me die..
They were worried obviously, i remember everything in phases , they screaming me literary screaming to them to let me choke on my vomit , and then one security guard of the park called the police, I remember asking why they were there , everything was a mess , they asked what happened and my friends told them I was intoxicated with alcohol , they warned them that they were going to call an ambulance if I still throwing up when they came back , so they lift me up (I am a lot taller than them) oh for this moment my boyfriend suddenly appeared and I was throwing up in everyone and everything...
Then we got a taxi I was begging for them to not call home, to take me to one of my friends house and we did , I threw up in the taxis window , I was begging to die again.
They again lift me up with a lot of effort and got me through the stairs to her house, her mom and her brother were they and they helped me I was still having a panic attack, they got me a cubet to throw up and they were discussing taking me to the hospital, I threw up a lot , I can even count how many times I felt my stomach urging to let everything out and I was still so embarrassed and begging to die and telling them they didn't deserve this..
My parents arrived and as I didn't want to see them my friends brother (who studied phycology) explained everything and they were worried but they left
I stayed here with my boyfriend and my friend... We tried to sleep , they got me sleeping to the side so I don't choke on my vomit.. they have to left because my boyfriend has some important medical exams and I am alone and tempted to put myself up ... I may choke and die.
I have never experienced something like that
Pain
Embarrassment
Sadness
Urge to die
I remember when I blacked out for a minute , everyone was talking and i just wanted that peace, it was extremely nasty because I was lying on the floor next to my vomit and i felt it was time... I was ready
I would have die already if I followed my plan of doing it alone...
