Sn, exit bag, or hanging

[tryingtodie]

Hey there
I'm aiming to suicide by Dec in a hotel. I'm debating whether to use SN, exit bag or hang myself.Hanging seems to be the more lethal choice, but since I won't be surveying the hotel before the day I suicide, it might be quite risky. The antimetic needed for SN method seems to be quite difficult to get and judging from a few threads I read in the forum, this method might be unreliable if the amount taken is off. I'm also kinda afraid of the reliability of the exit bag too. I've never attempted before so I'm really scared if something goes wrong... So I'm wondering what's your thoughts about it. Which method do you think is better? Thanks!

Spoiler: Also, a bit of a rant

I actually don't even know if I have the will to kill myself. I am a coward and kinda attention seeking to be honest. I've actually threatened to kill myself quite a few times. Although most of the time I really intended to kill myself, after a few days, the resolve vanishes.I'm currently unemployed due to how extreme my ocd is. A mere touch from others will make me want to wash myself. The only reason why I choose to attempt suicide in a hotel is because I don't want to lower the price of my home and try to lessen my family's trauma about the suicide. I've already burdened them too much, I don't want to cause more trouble when I die. I've been thinking of dying for quite some time, few years ago I guess, but never attempted or even try buying the stuff needed because I'm a coward. I really hate this part of me because I clearly know I'm worthless. I should have died one year ago when I was unemployed. Now, I'm only wasting resources... I don't have any redeeming qualities and I can feel my family is starting to give up on me. For now, I guess I will strengthen my resolve to die while researching more about the methods stated above.
Sorry if I sound a bit whiny!

 

[Chinaski]

Snog: hanging

Marry: exit bag (if l could only trust myself to make one that worked)

Avoid: sn