Method Slow acting methods and saving face

[chester]

I might be an idiot for caring about such things, especially that I have a perfectly good nitrogen setup at home and I can get myself killed in 5 minutes practically anytime I want.

BUT
I feel it's wrong. I know it wouldn't concern me, because I'd be dead, but somehow I still care about the impression I leave behind, and I don't want to be found with a bag on my head. I want people around me to think my death wasn't voluntary. At least I want to give it a try, it's not like I'm in a hurry, right? I think I found a way.

I'd like this thread to not only be about my idea, but I'm also interested in hearing about other methods.

It's a long shot, I do realize that, but hey, what do I have to lose? Worst case scenario, I'll go another way, especially that I have an alternative ready. So, get ready to laugh at me: licorice. Licorice and glycyrrhizin pills. Licorice candy to make it look like I'm dumb and had no idea, and the pills to actually get the job done. And yes, I can get my hands on actual licorice candy, and not just licorice flavored candy.



Why do I think this has a chance of working?
- I already have hypertension (around 140/90), which means I normally should probably stay away from the candy itself, not to mention the pills.
- Apart from the hypertension, there's something else wrong with my heart, I often get warnings on my smartwatch that my pulse is 120bpm while I'm sitting at my desk, barely moving.
- I live alone and I work from home. If anything happens to me, there's nobody to call an ambulance and I certainly won't.

What am I aiming at?
"Oh, poor chester, he was so devastated, he wanted to kill himself but he put on such a heroic fight to not do it, he was so strong. His heart couldn't take it anymore. And he should've known to stay away from licorice, but how could he have known?"

Do I know it won't be instant, painless and peaceful?
I know. And couldn't care less at this point. My fiancee's cancer also wasn't, so I don't mind. As long as I can be successful. Judging by the articles I've read, the people who survived, survived only because they were worried about their symptoms and went to the ER. So yeah, there's a very good chance it will be possible to save me, but the whole idea is that nobody will know I need saving. Ideally my heart will give up when I sleep, but maybe that's too much to wish for. We'll see how it goes.

I haven't found any discussion here about this, so I might be a licorice pioneer. Just to be clear, I don't have very high hopes with this method, but hey, if I'm gonna go anyway, might just as well do some research for the community, and who knows, maybe I'll actually save my face while I'm at it.

If anyone has any better idea, I'm more than happy to hear it. And no, I'm not interested in "accidents", I don't want anything drastic.

 

[chester]

It's been over 35 hours since I posted this thread, judging by lack of reactions nobody treats this seriously, but I do.
Already bought the pills, took 2 today. Unsurprisingly nothing happened. I mean nothing was supposed to happen, but just in case anyone's curious. 10 bags of candy, about 4lbs total will be delivered tomorrow. I'll monitor the progress, see how my health changes and make adjustments.
Would be nice to die in 3 to 4 weeks.

I know, many of you will think this is one of the dumbest ideas to kill oneself. But I don't want to kill myself, I want to make myself so worse off that I'll die in an unsurprising way i.e. my heart will give up. If my love didn't have it quick and easy, neither will I.

 

[lucifer_yoo]

Why not try oleander leaves? Drowning and jumping while hiking can also look like an accident. Holy grail method would be one that is painless and looks accidental according to me.

 

[chester]

Why not try oleander leaves?

I did consider oleander. It's too quick, it's an obvious poisoning, they might find leaves in my digestive tract if they do an autopsy. Licorice should fit in nicely with my existing conditions. And even if they find the candy, so what? That's the whole point. It needs to be innocent. An unfortunate event.

Drowning and jumping while hiking can also look like an accident. Holy grail method would be one that is painless and looks accidental according to me.

I don't want an accident. I don't want to kill myself. I want to make myself die. It might appear to be the same thing, but it's not the same to me.

 

[maniac116]

I might be an idiot for caring about such things, especially that I have a perfectly good nitrogen setup at home and I can get myself killed in 5 minutes practically anytime I want.

BUT
I feel it's wrong. I know it wouldn't concern me, because I'd be dead, but somehow I still care about the impression I leave behind, and I don't want to be found with a bag on my head. I want people around me to think my death wasn't voluntary. At least I want to give it a try, it's not like I'm in a hurry, right? I think I found a way.

I'd like this thread to not only be about my idea, but I'm also interested in hearing about other methods.

It's a long shot, I do realize that, but hey, what do I have to lose? Worst case scenario, I'll go another way, especially that I have an alternative ready. So, get ready to laugh at me: licorice. Licorice and glycyrrhizin pills. Licorice candy to make it look like I'm dumb and had no idea, and the pills to actually get the job done. And yes, I can get my hands on actual licorice candy, and not just licorice flavored candy.



Why do I think this has a chance of working?
- I already have hypertension (around 140/90), which means I normally should probably stay away from the candy itself, not to mention the pills.
- Apart from the hypertension, there's something else wrong with my heart, I often get warnings on my smartwatch that my pulse is 120bpm while I'm sitting at my desk, barely moving.
- I live alone and I work from home. If anything happens to me, there's nobody to call an ambulance and I certainly won't.

What am I aiming at?
"Oh, poor chester, he was so devastated, he wanted to kill himself but he put on such a heroic fight to not do it, he was so strong. His heart couldn't take it anymore. And he should've known to stay away from licorice, but how could he have known?"

Do I know it won't be instant, painless and peaceful?
I know. And couldn't care less at this point. My fiancee's cancer also wasn't, so I don't mind. As long as I can be successful. Judging by the articles I've read, the people who survived, survived only because they were worried about their symptoms and went to the ER. So yeah, there's a very good chance it will be possible to save me, but the whole idea is that nobody will know I need saving. Ideally my heart will give up when I sleep, but maybe that's too much to wish for. We'll see how it goes.

I haven't found any discussion here about this, so I might be a licorice pioneer. Just to be clear, I don't have very high hopes with this method, but hey, if I'm gonna go anyway, might just as well do some research for the community, and who knows, maybe I'll actually save my face while I'm at it.

If anyone has any better idea, I'm more than happy to hear it. And no, I'm not interested in "accidents", I don't want anything drastic.

Licorice is not a good idea!
It takes a long time to get the job done. It could take months or more.
It would probably start in electrolyte imbalance which, over time can start messing with your organs, especially the heart. You'll start getting palpitations & blood pressure issues etc.
You would possibly pass out at some point pass out & may very well end up waking up in a hospital bed or psych unit very much alive.
I've been an herbalist for 30 years & use licorice root twice daily for years with no issues. I think the warnings about licorice root may be over stated. Just my opinion.
On a high note, licorice can kill germs that cause bad breath lol

 

[chester]

It would probably start in electrolyte imbalance which, over time can start messing with your organs, especially the heart. You'll start getting palpitations & blood pressure issues etc.

That's exactly what I'm hoping for.

You would possibly pass out at some point pass out & may very well end up waking up in a hospital bed or psych unit very much alive.

I'm well aware of this. I'm willing to take my chances on this one. I spend at least 80% of my time at home, alone. Nobody to save me. Very slim chances of someone discovering me in time to save me.

I've been an herbalist for 30 years & use licorice root twice daily for years with no issues.

How much and in what form?

I think the warnings about licorice root may be over stated.

I think it's all a matter of getting the dose right. Luckily I'm in no hurry.

On a high note, licorice can kill germs that cause bad breath lol

At least if I fail my breath will smell nice. So kind of a win-win situation

 

[Raven2]

I didnt even know liquorice was dangerous at high levels. Shame I cant stand the taste!

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I did consider oleander. It's too quick, it's an obvious poisoning, they might find leaves in my digestive tract if they do an autopsy. Licorice should fit in nicely with my existing conditions. And even if they find the candy, so what? That's the whole point. It needs to be innocent. An unfortunate event.



I don't want an accident. I don't want to kill myself. I want to make myself die. It might appear to be the same thing, but it's not the same to me.

It isn't the same thing you're right. Maybe this will work for you. I don't know your situation but sightseeing at waterfalls has resulted in unfortunate deaths.

 

[buoy]

I understand how you feel about death. I'm sorry life has been hard for you and your loved ones. Your method proves how creative you are in a dark way. I hope you find peace in life or death. I'm here for you and feel free to shoot a dm if you just want to shoot the shit.

 

[stoiccactus]

Why do you care about what people will think of you after you're dead? You'll be dead!

 

[nohopenofuture31]

I sort of know what you mean. There's one person in my life that's really driven me to do this, and he would get great satisfaction from knowing he was successful. I don't want to give him the satisfaction, so I've tried thinking of ways that look like an accident. I don't want it to be extremely painful though, and don't want any chance of it not working. So I've sort of given up on looking for a way that's not so obvious. I also don't want my kids growing up thinking they had anything to do with my death, which is one of the only reasons I'm still here right now. I'm following to see if anyone has any other suggestions.

I might be an idiot for caring about such things, especially that I have a perfectly good nitrogen setup at home and I can get myself killed in 5 minutes practically anytime I want.

BUT
I feel it's wrong. I know it wouldn't concern me, because I'd be dead, but somehow I still care about the impression I leave behind, and I don't want to be found with a bag on my head. I want people around me to think my death wasn't voluntary. At least I want to give it a try, it's not like I'm in a hurry, right? I think I found a way.

I'd like this thread to not only be about my idea, but I'm also interested in hearing about other methods.

 

[maniac116]

That's exactly what I'm hoping for.


I'm well aware of this. I'm willing to take my chances on this one. I spend at least 80% of my time at home, alone. Nobody to save me. Very slim chances of someone discovering me in time to save me.


How much and in what form?



I think it's all a matter of getting the dose right. Luckily I'm in no hurry.


At least if I fail my breath will smell nice. So kind of a win-win situation

I hope that whatever choice you make that you find that elusive peace

 

[chester]

I hope that whatever choice you make that you find that elusive peace

Thank you. Right now it's been 10 days, so it's not much, given that i takes at least about a month for the adverse effects to kick in. I think I'm slowly beginning to feel a bit different though, but it's barely noticeable at this point. I'm in no hurry. I'll probably get my blood potassium tested in 2 weeks and maybe then I'll increase the dose if it doesn't drop below normal levels.

 

[trs]

Thank you. Right now it's been 10 days, so it's not much, given that i takes at least about a month for the adverse effects to kick in. I think I'm slowly beginning to feel a bit different though, but it's barely noticeable at this point. I'm in no hurry. I'll probably get my blood potassium tested in 2 weeks and maybe then I'll increase the dose if it doesn't drop below normal levels.

I vote for red licorice.

 

[377e8372662]

Thank you. Right now it's been 10 days, so it's not much, given that i takes at least about a month for the adverse effects to kick in. I think I'm slowly beginning to feel a bit different though, but it's barely noticeable at this point. I'm in no hurry. I'll probably get my blood potassium tested in 2 weeks and maybe then I'll increase the dose if it doesn't drop below normal levels.

You should seed the lie with casual comments to your friends and family about how much you love liquorice candy and how into it you are lately

 

[chester]

I don't know if it's related to my little experiment, but I seem to be having either an angina or some sort of neuralgia. I used to have neuralgia episodes in the past, but they were always limited to my chest. Now it's radiating to my back and throat. I'm mentally tired, even though I have no reason to be, and I'm physically weak as well. I don't expect this to develop into anything serious, I think this is just an episode which will pass after resting for an hour or so. Nonetheless, it's something new, time will show if it meant anything. Maybe my heart is capable of failing soon. That would be convenient. Whether that's because of the licorice experiment or in spite of it, who cares. We'll see if I live long enough to do the blood tests for potassium I mentioned earlier I'm trying not to get my hopes too high though.

 

[hamleic]

same as me. i want to die that looks like natural death.
i started drinking water with salt, not much but what i want is to level up my salt intake per day and also raise up my cholesterol by eating very oily food. my target is to have a stroke. it runs in the family so all i want is to push my body to have those and die naturally.

 

[Unspoken7612]

Slow-acting methods... ok, I see the "I don't want them to get the satisfaction" motivation. If it was me then I'd consider informing people I was moving abroad and then kill myself on holiday.

Gouging myself on unhealthy food is a very slow way to die. Fun, probably.

 

[daisymayhem]

same as me. i want to die that looks like natural death.
i started drinking water with salt, not much but what i want is to level up my salt intake per day and also raise up my cholesterol by eating very oily food. my target is to have a stroke. it runs in the family so all i want is to push my body to have those and die naturally.

Thing is with strokes you could be left in a wheelchair, taking 5 years to die as happened to my mother, they don't necessarily kill you and can potentially leave you with no say in anything anymore. My worst nightmare is to end up like my mother.

 

[pennydrop]

I don't want an accident. I don't want to kill myself. I want to make myself die. It might appear to be the same thing, but it's not the same to me.

You put it perfectly. Sometimes when I'm really bad, I consider going out with a bang. But overall, the feeling is more like this. I also have a weird heart issue that I'm trying to exacerbate with eye drops. Not as interesting as licorice, but similar dizzy/wobbly/my heart hurts kind of feeling. It sucks the things we do to ourselves in hope of finding peace.

 

[Yavannah]

i've saw an article about a woman which almost died of *hypokalemia after eating alot of licorice candy everyday.
if you eat much of the candy and go get a blood test and your potassium is to low or high you know you are on the right path.
but i dont know how painful this is going to be.

 

[chester]

3 weeks into the experiment. 500mg glycyrrhizin every morning + 1 pack of candy around lunch (6.2oz) + 1 cup of licorice root tea in the evening (delicious btw, tastes nothing like the candy).

My blood pressure got significantly higher, the highest so far was 180/96. Mostly the "upper" value is between 150 and 165, the lower between 90 and 100. I've got frequent headaches. I also noticed a bit of a brain fog and physical weakness. If nothing happens to me, I'm planning to do some blood tests next week. Judging by how I feel recently I wouldn't be surprised to collapse all of a sudden. Every time I get up to grab something to drink or to go to the bathroom I close the browser, so that nobody discovers my SaSu account in case something happens. Might be a bit paranoid about that but well, better safe than sorry.

 

[chester]

I got my blood results. Sodium is high, but within normal range, potassium is low, but within normal range. My cholesterol is not within normal range though. My blood pressure continues to increase, the chest pains and heart palpitations are becoming more frequent. I feel pressure in my chest, especially when I lie flat, when I stand up it goes away. I also noticed I can't eat as much as i used to, like my stomach shrunk.

I don't know if I'm feeling worse in spite of the licorice or because of it. It might be that something else is going on in my body that I don't know about. I'll continue my experiment until the end of the month and if my condition doesn't worsen significantly then I'm done with this.

By the way, if anyone has any idea what could kill me in days/weeks/a couple of months without showing up on toxicology, I'll be more than happy to hear about it here or via PM I have a way of killing myself quickly, I just don't like it, and it's going to be an obvious suicide.

 

[chester]

OK, I've had enough. I said I would continue until the end of the month, but it's pointless.

What have I learned? It's far from being good enough to be called "a method".

A few people got hypokalemic and had a cardiac arrest. most of them didn't. Don't count on it being you. Some people got rhabdomyolysis and kidney failure. All I got was smelly urine.

I dedicated over a month to this experiment. How did I feel during the last week or 2?

1. My blood pressure was often very high. Glycyrrhizin raises blood pressure significantly, and mine was already high. Combine the two and sometimes it was like on the verge of hypertensive crisis. This is especially bad, because death isn't the worst outcome of this state.
2. Headaches. Migranes, and new kinds of headaches I've never had, like someone put my head in a vice. I developed a strong fear of a stroke. I guess it wasn't worth it to continue. I wouldn't like to live on as a stroke survivor being unable to speak or take care of myself properly.
3. Eyes. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head. I had a feeling of tired eyes. One of chronic complications of hypertension is eye damage. Not worth it. I'm not counting heart palpitations, chest pains and dizziness, because I didn't mind it that much, it was actually making me hopeful sometimes.
4. What didn't happen? My potassium didn't drop below normal range (as of last Monday). It was 3.93, and the normal range is 3.50 to 5.50. So much for potentially lethal hypokalemia.

Taking all this into account, I'm not going to waste any more time on this than I already have. Maybe, if you meet some particular criteria, it could work for you. But hell if I know what criteria these might be. Otherwise you're going to experience a lot of discomfort without any guarantee of putting your life in large enough danger to even call it a suicide attempt. I don't regret giving it a go though. That's how we learn. And you can learn from my waste of time so that you don't wast yours.

Now what?
I took my last glycyrrhizin dose on Friday morning. I already feel much better. The headaches, the dizziness the eyes, everything. I can't believe how quickly it improved. At least I don't have to worry a stroke will mess up my head.

I have a new project lined up. Something far more reckless, because it can potentially fuck me up properly for a long time. No more torturing myself for a spontaneous cardiac arrest that might never come. Assuming I can get my hands on the things I need, it will take me months to make my situation life threatening but the probability of achieving results is far greater. I shared my thoughts about it with 2 people on this forum, you know who you are, please keep it to yourself, I'd rather not openly discuss it.

Why do I bother?
Because I don't want to kill myself. I want to make myself die. It's not a boxing match that ends with a knockout. It's a chess game that ends with a checkmate and brute force is not what I'm after. If I play it right, nobody will even know it was suicide. I know I said the same thing about licorice, but I've learned my lesson and I've done my homework.

Anyway, forget about licorice. It doesn't deserve to be called a method.

 

[CantDoIt]

OK, I've had enough. I said I would continue until the end of the month, but it's pointless.

What have I learned? It's far from being good enough to be called "a method".

A few people got hypokalemic and had a cardiac arrest. most of them didn't. Don't count on it being you. Some people got rhabdomyolysis and kidney failure. All I got was smelly urine.

I dedicated over a month to this experiment. How did I feel during the last week or 2?

1. My blood pressure was often very high. Glycyrrhizin raises blood pressure significantly, and mine was already high. Combine the two and sometimes it was like on the verge of hypertensive crisis. This is especially bad, because death isn't the worst outcome of this state.
2. Headaches. Migranes, and new kinds of headaches I've never had, like someone put my head in a vice. I developed a strong fear of a stroke. I guess it wasn't worth it to continue. I wouldn't like to live on as a stroke survivor being unable to speak or take care of myself properly.
3. Eyes. My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head. I had a feeling of tired eyes. One of chronic complications of hypertension is eye damage. Not worth it. I'm not counting heart palpitations, chest pains and dizziness, because I didn't mind it that much, it was actually making me hopeful sometimes.
4. What didn't happen? My potassium didn't drop below normal range (as of last Monday). It was 3.93, and the normal range is 3.50 to 5.50. So much for potentially lethal hypokalemia.

Taking all this into account, I'm not going to waste any more time on this than I already have. Maybe, if you meet some particular criteria, it could work for you. But hell if I know what criteria these might be. Otherwise you're going to experience a lot of discomfort without any guarantee of putting your life in large enough danger to even call it a suicide attempt. I don't regret giving it a go though. That's how we learn. And you can learn from my waste of time so that you don't wast yours.

Now what?
I took my last glycyrrhizin dose on Friday morning. I already feel much better. The headaches, the dizziness the eyes, everything. I can't believe how quickly it improved. At least I don't have to worry a stroke will mess up my head.

I have a new project lined up. Something far more reckless, because it can potentially fuck me up properly for a long time. No more torturing myself for a spontaneous cardiac arrest that might never come. Assuming I can get my hands on the things I need, it will take me months to make my situation life threatening but the probability of achieving results is far greater. I shared my thoughts about it with 2 people on this forum, you know who you are, please keep it to yourself, I'd rather not openly discuss it.

Why do I bother?
Because I don't want to kill myself. I want to make myself die. It's not a boxing match that ends with a knockout. It's a chess game that ends with a checkmate and brute force is not what I'm after. If I play it right, nobody will even know it was suicide. I know I said the same thing about licorice, but I've learned my lesson and I've done my homework.

Anyway, forget about licorice. It doesn't deserve to be called a method.

Do you expect your new method to be painful? I am sorry that your have had to go through the trouble of attempting different methods like this.

 

[chester]

Do you expect your new method to be painful? I am sorry that your have had to go through the trouble of attempting different methods like this.

I'm expecting a continuous increase of some discomfort over time but I don't know how much actual pain there might be. And thank you for your kind words. I wish my life would just end without me having to make it happen. Still, killing myself is not an option, tried it, SI won't let me. I need to outsmart it. If I do something and don't die right away, I can keep doing it, SI will let me. Until it's too late to back out. Then SI won't save me. The doctors may though. But it's a future chester problem. Right now I need to have some rest and get ready to get started. I'll worry about how it ends once I'm actually close to the end, which is very unlikely to be this year.

 

[Pryras]

I want the same thing. I can easily take my SN and peace out but I want to die from a disease or condition so my mother isn't left with the stigma. I don't know the science behind it, but I thought of taking sprinkles of SN in my cereal or slowly trying to induce a heart attack or issue of some kind.

 

[Shrooms]

I'm just putting my opinion here, don't worry about saving face because you're not saving anything when you leave and you definitely shouldn't care about what people think at this point. Just my thoughts, I wish you the best.