(exact comment repost that i ended up deleting cause i'm queen of post and delete, and also lazy and starting off my day)
hey anyone reading, i know i don't go on here at all anymore, nor do i want to at all or even use the internet too much like i always have. i decided to give "life" a go for much longer. still struggle with SI, but being in the worst hospital i've ever been in my life against my will for 38 days under a lie for insurance money made me rethink a lot. i wanna try my best to live and be more positive and focus more on cultivating a balanced, peaceful life.
my cheating fiance actually didn't cheat and became my boyfriend (we're still sorta together, 5 people in his life died altogether and his grandma is sick. we're working on it and ourselves daily. but i'll be okay even without him as my partner [i think/hope] but i want him forever. we're both intensely fucked up and traumatized, but also loving and awesome. so patience is key but so is me knowing my worth enough if things don't work how i want them to).
i am still intensely "damaged" but in a way i feel makes me valuable to give others genuine empathy, laughter, and hope. so i'm deleting my account (once i figure out how or who to message. tried to open a ticket. sorry if that's not how, didn't see the deactivation button anymore... been kinda tech inefficient lately).
i will be 25 this year and wanna try to see the good in that and reinvent my life to fit me and be the beautiful, peaceful one i've always dreamt and know it could be. i may end up passing away, but have a strong sense i'll make it until it's my "natural" time not done by my own hands (however that be, death is scary!)
this is duhsayuh logging off, i wish you all a beautiful life or escape if that's what you choose, and wishing you the right to choose it!
hey anyone reading, i know i don't go on here at all anymore, nor do i want to at all or even use the internet too much like i always have. i decided to give "life" a go for much longer. still struggle with SI, but being in the worst hospital i've ever been in my life against my will for 38 days under a lie for insurance money made me rethink a lot. i wanna try my best to live and be more positive and focus more on cultivating a balanced, peaceful life.
my cheating fiance actually didn't cheat and became my boyfriend (we're still sorta together, 5 people in his life died altogether and his grandma is sick. we're working on it and ourselves daily. but i'll be okay even without him as my partner [i think/hope] but i want him forever. we're both intensely fucked up and traumatized, but also loving and awesome. so patience is key but so is me knowing my worth enough if things don't work how i want them to).
i am still intensely "damaged" but in a way i feel makes me valuable to give others genuine empathy, laughter, and hope. so i'm deleting my account (once i figure out how or who to message. tried to open a ticket. sorry if that's not how, didn't see the deactivation button anymore... been kinda tech inefficient lately).
i will be 25 this year and wanna try to see the good in that and reinvent my life to fit me and be the beautiful, peaceful one i've always dreamt and know it could be. i may end up passing away, but have a strong sense i'll make it until it's my "natural" time not done by my own hands (however that be, death is scary!)
this is duhsayuh logging off, i wish you all a beautiful life or escape if that's what you choose, and wishing you the right to choose it!
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