• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Abyssal

Abyssal

Probably gonna die soon maybe?
Nov 26, 2023
1,326
Being okay sometimes is probably better than never being okay at all, but there's something awful about falling so far so easily. Just as I believe I'm in the clear I remember why I'd be better if I was corpse. There is no better suicide fuel than the inevitability of getting worse again.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: astrichaoz, divinemistress36, touyathecat and 5 others
N

nyul

Member
Jun 5, 2024
8
I feel you. It also feels like such a terrible challenge to toe the line and not fall down. I feel like I have to work so hard and do everything right lest I fall into what may be my final depression. When I go high, it's just okay. When I go low, I go LOW.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: alicia, Alexei_Kirillov and Abyssal
alicia

alicia

worn down, and fraying at the edges
Apr 10, 2023
13
Painfully familiar. I am clawing myself out of a depressive episode that has lasted 6 months, half of which I was more or less catatonic. I'm not quite back to "okay" but I'm mostly functional right now, and it's just… exhausting. There's so little reward when you pull yourself back to "normal", just the regular grind of life and the tedious task of fixing up all the things that had gone wrong while you were ill. Sure, there's a sense of accomplishment: I dragged myself out of the abyss again. But there's also dread: inevitably I'll slip again and fall back down. I'm so unbearably tired.
 

Similar threads

snooperdooper
Replies
0
Views
136
Suicide Discussion
snooperdooper
snooperdooper
Someplace_nice
Replies
1
Views
194
Recovery
gottacheckout
gottacheckout
M
Replies
6
Views
302
Suicide Discussion
sideways
sideways
Archness
Replies
1
Views
170
Suicide Discussion
Michelstaedter
Michelstaedter