• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Açucarzinho583

Açucarzinho583

com café!
Sep 14, 2023
86
A few weeks ago, I wrote a rant here. I was going through emotional turmoil: I liked a girl from my past and tried to reconnect with her through her brother, who had been my best friend growing up. But everything seemed to be going wrong.

She had blocked me. Her brother — my best friend — started ignoring me. And I kept wondering what I had done wrong. I thought I had missed my chance… and, worse, lost my best friend too.

All I could think was: Why is he ignoring me? What did I do to them? Does he not like me anymore? Does he think I'm using him just to get close to her? Did she say something about me?

But today, everything changed.

My mother — yes, my mother! — ended up talking to her. And the truth came out: she blocked me because she didn't know who I was. That's it. She didn't recognize my number and thought it was a random person.

After my mom explained, she unblocked me… and replied with a simple: "Hey, how are you? Good night! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

We started talking. I told her I wanted to organize a reunion with our old classmates, and I invited her. And then came the words I had dreamed of hearing for years: "We can try to arrange it."

She said yes.

Maybe it wasn't a "yes" to love.
Maybe not a "yes" to a future together.
But it was a yes to a fresh start.
A yes to reconnecting.
A yes to the chance of rebuilding something that time and silence had buried.

She is the only reason I'm still alive.
I think about her every single day.
If she ignored me — I'd accept it.
If she cheated on me — I'd forgive her.
If she used me… I'd still love her.

It's as if everything inside me only makes sense when I think of her.
And yes, I know — that's emotional codependency.
But if she's okay, then I'm okay.

I can't love myself.
I don't feel worthy of being chosen, loved, or prioritized.
So if I finally find someone like her… I'll do everything I can not to lose her.
I don't even need to date her.
Just having her as a friend means the world to me.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: naookoo128, Alexei_Kirillov, CC123 and 4 others
Wolf Girl

Wolf Girl

Your friendly neighborhood suicidal wolf girl
Jun 12, 2024
362
I hope everything works out! I've experienced this level of infatuation before and just want to add a piece of advice: spend a little time everyday thinking about things not working out with her and practice tolerating that thought. This "coping ahead" will help protect your heart if she doesn't stay in your life
 

Similar threads

O
Replies
1
Views
70
Offtopic
weedbrain
weedbrain
Unbearable Mr. Bear
Replies
4
Views
302
Offtopic
Unbearable Mr. Bear
Unbearable Mr. Bear
P
Replies
1
Views
176
Offtopic
Pigeonleaderboard44
P
renichi
Replies
1
Views
173
Suicide Discussion
flightless bird
flightless bird