Don't be ashamed, no wrong answers here. You seem to have already answered the question on the thread's title: you don't wanna die. And that's okay, means part of you still wants to go on despite her. Revenge is pointless, it'll only make things worse for you: cliche as it may sound, revenge simply isn't the answer.
It must've been a hard time waiting for her to reply, maybe try getting some rest, revisit it all in the morning, see what's your answer to the question: what to do now?