I agree so much. The only reason why I lived so long and why my account is as old as it currently is right now is because, for the longest time, I couldn't figure out how to kill myself and navigate through the difficulties due to living with others. It doesn't help that I'm autistic too which adds further complications and challenges for me. However, it was only recently where I have finally thought of a way to deal with all of this and get what I want.
In my case, I was able to pay for all of the supplies since I never really spent my money on material things due to not liking anything in life and, also, I was on a student loan so I just used that. I brought a PO box to get the things in secret and then I got all of the other supplies by going to different stores whilst my mum thought that I'd be at university. My location will be a hotel and I had to use a lot of my brain power (which there isn't a lot of in the first place) to try and have the hotel room be from 9am to 6pm since that's the longest I can be away for in a day. I think that I'm able to escape suspicion because I've been pretending to be okay all of these years when I really am not and I rarely interact with others anyway.
It's incredibly difficult for people like us to try and ctb and I really hoped that I could use my story to make a guide for those who are in a similar situation but I sadly can't because I mostly got lucky. So lucky. I really hope that somebody makes a guide for people like us to navigate through the whole ctb thing because it is so tricky to do so. If I lived alone, I would have a complete piece of mind and I wouldn't be here today
