Discussion Romanticising the last day

[purplehearted]

Is anyone else not scared? For my last day, I just want to have a nice day out, some ice cream, shower and get dressed up a pretty dress in a fancy hotel and then fall asleep and pass peacefully after drinking my SN.. If i find a partner we could have drink it together and share our reasons, have a lovely conversation and support each other through it all. Maybe it sounds dumb but for me it's the ideal scenario. I just want to feel my best when i do CTB with no more negative feelings, fear or pain and feel happy in my last moments. Does anyone else feel the same?

I can't do it yet, because my family is visiting from overseas and i don't want to traumatise them. But they leave in 10 days and i'm preparing… I finally feel at peace since i decided and I've cried so much because I constantly feel panicked and haven't felt peace in so long, and i'm so relieved it will be over soon. The only thing i'm afraid of now is being found and being sent to a psych ward. So i'm going to plan it all properly according to Stan's method, i've gotten the SN (hopefully, if it's not intercepted, fuck you Australia), anti emetics and benzos. Life has been so cruel to us all, sending hugs and love to anyone reading this

 

[Grayfield]

I do romanticize it to. Not scared anymore. I've decided this will be a very special day. Since I chose my method I felt a huge relief. I decided to splurge on an airbnb. Needed a pool so that's how it came to be. What to drink, what to eat, what to listen to has me anxiously anticipating that day.
Absolutely selfish. This will be my day, no guilt trips for me anymore.

 

[sorrowful]

this is how i feel, once i get my method planned and sorted i actually imagine the last few days to be joyful

 

[bramblebamblebambe]

I hope on this day, you see something beautiful and something makes you smile and you have a song in your heart, your mind is silent and you feel at peace

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I hope that your last day will be as joyful as you wanted it to be. You've already been through so much, so your last moments should be good.

 

[RichardFirst]

I may seem a wee bit utilitarian for saying this, but I think that the last day should be spend focusing on the task to hand. If one puts too much emphasis on making it special, they may make a mistake in that actual act. I would spend the day checking and rechecking my preparations, writing my letters and preparing for the end. It's the last day of life and the single biggest decision we will make. Do it right

Besides, if there is an afterlife, you can party when you get there :)

 

[NHLTradeRumor]

I'm the same way, I'll be having a joyful and fun day before I CTB, it'll put my mind at ease in a way. I don't believe in an afterlife, so my final day will be spent the way I will most enjoy.

 

[missingpeace]

I know I will be in so much of a hurry to be out of here after I take the SN, might forget to breathe.

 

[Caoine01]

Is anyone else not scared? For my last day, I just want to have a nice day out, some ice cream, shower and get dressed up a pretty dress in a fancy hotel and then fall asleep and pass peacefully after drinking my SN.. If i find a partner we could have drink it together and share our reasons, have a lovely conversation and support each other through it all. Maybe it sounds dumb but for me it's the ideal scenario. I just want to feel my best when i do CTB with no more negative feelings, fear or pain and feel happy in my last moments.

I do exactly feel the same as you. I hope we meet soon where you are now

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

I do this too. I think it's pretty common for chronic suicidal people to do so in some way.

Someone I knew obsessed over what outfit she'd die in on the day, and her method of choice wouldn't have even left much to see.
I don't think it's logical, but when you've been waiting for relief for so long, I think it is natural.

I had thought I'd go around doing reckless and fun shit until I have no money left and whatever's left of my life is completely ruined.
A bucket-list day I guess.