justanotherbody
Member
- Dec 18, 2025
- 15
Nothingness is default, because somethingness takes energy.
Darkness is default, because light takes energy.
Coldness is default, because warmth takes energy.
Apathy is default, because feeling takes energy.
Annihilation is default, because to be takes energy.
And I do not have energy anymore. I am voided and must default.
I've decided the way I want to go: shotgun in the mouth, buckshot through the brainstem.
Going to get my firearm safety certificate, per California law, next week. Then buy my way out.
I live alone. I've already written out letters to everyone I care about, which I'll mail out on the day. They're all lovely and peaceful, no ill words shared. Just apologies and gratitude for the things they've done and moments we've shared.
I thought I'd be more bummed out, but I am just robotic, going through the motions on autopilot to get me one step closer to my dying days.
I don't know what the point of this was. Maybe the last sliver of self-preservation reaching out for help, getting anyone, anybody, to have a glimpse of the catastrophic apathy I find myself with. Or maybe it is just as pointless as everything else. I don't know.
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer; cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home, etc.
Darkness is default, because light takes energy.
Coldness is default, because warmth takes energy.
Apathy is default, because feeling takes energy.
Annihilation is default, because to be takes energy.
And I do not have energy anymore. I am voided and must default.
I've decided the way I want to go: shotgun in the mouth, buckshot through the brainstem.
Going to get my firearm safety certificate, per California law, next week. Then buy my way out.
I live alone. I've already written out letters to everyone I care about, which I'll mail out on the day. They're all lovely and peaceful, no ill words shared. Just apologies and gratitude for the things they've done and moments we've shared.
I thought I'd be more bummed out, but I am just robotic, going through the motions on autopilot to get me one step closer to my dying days.
I don't know what the point of this was. Maybe the last sliver of self-preservation reaching out for help, getting anyone, anybody, to have a glimpse of the catastrophic apathy I find myself with. Or maybe it is just as pointless as everything else. I don't know.
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer; cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home, etc.
