random thoughts, depressed vs non depressed?

[_Minsk]

Do we have the same thoughts poping up in our minds, like when we are Happy, or do we simply manage them easier when we are happy?

 

[terry_a_davis]

I dont think about ctb or how crap my life as much is when i'm in a better mood. When i was actually happy a long time ago suicide did not enter my mind whatsoever.

 

[FusRohDracarys]

To the best of my recollection, the ctb thoughts never leave me. They just go from a desperate wish for an out to a more cautionary "let's quit while we're still on top" line of thinking and are easier to dismiss.

 

[GoBack]

This is a wonderful headfuck of a question :)

 

[moonchild]

For me, I think it's mainly the same thoughts. But when I'm in a better mood I care more about the things I don't have, that would make me a normal, functional adult, and I spend more time wishing and longing for them. And I guess that makes it easier to rationalise staying alive, and trying, just a little longer.

 

[Bct]

For me, when I'm not depressed I rarely thinking about suicide. If I do, I'm just having a joke around it (just about my suicide, of course). Since I'm currently really depressed, suicidal thoughts is almost 24/7.

 

[Cosmiq]

Times when I would be happy I still want to ctb, mostly because it felt like a good time before the lows that I knew would come actually came. To me it's like knowing you'll die from physical illness and ending while you're still strong vs having been in a hospital bed slowly drifting in and out in pain, mmaking these times the last moments your loved ones remember of you.
I think it's why I avoid my best friend so much, I never want to see him in a low mood because I want a last memory to be one we were having fun. Not one where I was where I wreak of hopelessness, and that he'll be asking himself how could he not known or do more. I know the first example would still be a shock, but I think it's better than watching me circle the drain.

 

[lostangel]

When I'm ''happy'' I don't think of suicide. But eventually I come back to the reality of my situation and then the thoughts come back.