Toonloon
Experienced
- Nov 17, 2020
- 253
I'm a phone sex operator so I hear crazy shit all the time. But when it's slow I have time to read articles online. I read the infamous NYT story at work. I keep reading different opinions from other's online too: I.e just other reporters piggy backing off the original piece. Something I noticed that's being repeated is that they keep claiming the hits on this site are higher than that for the suicide hotline. I just thought of the reasons why that is for myself. Like why I rather come on here and read posts versus calling a suicide prevention hotline, a warmline, or even talk to a shrink sometimes.
I like it more because I don't feel judged. I don't feel dismissed. Nobody attacks me for not wanting to go on meds. Nobody tells me to just get over my shit. Nobody gives unsolicited advice.
I hear from people who know what I'm actually feeling. I hear from people who attempted than failed and are around still. Nobody is making fun of us or calling us "fakes". Well at least not many. That was the worse thing a shrink did to me once, tell me he thought I was just seeking attention. I wasn't. This site is more supportive and welcoming than any pro life group or any fucking therapists I ever really met. At least in my own experience.
I like it cause I don't feel so alone. I don't feel like a selfish person for wanting to CTB. I don't hear people trying to guilt me for wanting to do this act or have a plan made out. Or just for saying out loud " I think I want to die today." The key word in my head is " shame". That's something I don't feel shame from this site but I do when I call a stupid hotline. I feel those assholes are judging me when I talk. I feel they think I'm just over dramatic, I'm too crazy to know what's good for me, and they don't really care what I have to say at all.
So yeah my ramblings are what I think when I see that stupid statement in articles related to the site now. This site is pretty judgement free versus other alternatives.
I like it more because I don't feel judged. I don't feel dismissed. Nobody attacks me for not wanting to go on meds. Nobody tells me to just get over my shit. Nobody gives unsolicited advice.
I hear from people who know what I'm actually feeling. I hear from people who attempted than failed and are around still. Nobody is making fun of us or calling us "fakes". Well at least not many. That was the worse thing a shrink did to me once, tell me he thought I was just seeking attention. I wasn't. This site is more supportive and welcoming than any pro life group or any fucking therapists I ever really met. At least in my own experience.
I like it cause I don't feel so alone. I don't feel like a selfish person for wanting to CTB. I don't hear people trying to guilt me for wanting to do this act or have a plan made out. Or just for saying out loud " I think I want to die today." The key word in my head is " shame". That's something I don't feel shame from this site but I do when I call a stupid hotline. I feel those assholes are judging me when I talk. I feel they think I'm just over dramatic, I'm too crazy to know what's good for me, and they don't really care what I have to say at all.
So yeah my ramblings are what I think when I see that stupid statement in articles related to the site now. This site is pretty judgement free versus other alternatives.
