Help Questioning sanity

[Kobusu]

Hey, usually I make long, difficult to ingest posts, so today I'll try to keep it brief and to the point. I do not know if I've been gas-lit again or if I'm genuinely fucking insane. My friends all tell me I didn't do anything wrong and that I tried my best, but I'm also scared that I'm imagining that. My father's a Narcissist and he thinks everyone loves him, and I'm terrified I'm like him. I could use some help. How do I know what is real? The only thing that seems real to me is the fact that I will be dying as soon as possible. Until then, though, how do I know anything is real? How do you guys determine what's real and what's not?

 

[eternalpeace]

Hmmm...I guess it depends on what you mean by "real". If you mean " real" in the sense of existing in the physical world, I would say start with your senses. If you can see it, touch it, or hear it, then chances are it is real. But if you are concerned about hallucinations, I would suggest speaking with a psychiatrist, or at least someone with training in that area. I guess you could also try to determine whether other people see/hear the same things. If you hear/see things that no one else can, it could be a hallucination.

If by "real", you mean certain, or lasting, or meaningful...well, I believe that stuff like that is all in the eye of the beholder, but if you find a better answer, let me know!

 

[motel rooms]

I do not know if I've been gas-lit again or if I'm genuinely fucking insane. My friends all tell me I didn't do anything wrong and that I tried my best, but I'm also scared that I'm imagining that. My father's a Narcissist and he thinks everyone loves him, and I'm terrified I'm like him.

It sounds to me like you might suffer from delusions (false beliefs), not hallucinations.

 

[I-can-only-imagine]

I feel like there needs to be more information to give context. I'm not asking you to, but it's hard to advise without knowing the whole situation. However, the fact you are reaching out for advice shows you aren't narcissistic like your dad. It shows how different you are. Sending so much love and hugs

 

[Kobusu]

Yeah I know there's missing context. I'm not sure if I can even give proper context though. I don't know but I appreciate the responses. Maybe I do suffer from delusions. Thanks guys.

 

[1up]

I highly doubt you are a Narcissist. I suffer from delusions infrequently; I found reading about them and identifying them helpful. I.e. I was able to more easily identify that I occasionally have delusions of guilt/grandeur and erotomania after reading about delusions. In theory this should help with avoiding triggers. I also tend to be more delusional when I haven't slept or eaten enough.

 

[little helpers]

I don't quite remember the feeling when being gaslit anymore (dissociative disorder so memory sucks), but I have a gut feeling that if you aren't being gaslit, you wouldn't question that. I don't know how it works when person also have delusions on top of that. and I can't say if that is or isn't your case. none of us are doctors here. but I sorta question if seeing a psychologist really helps as *they* gaslight survivors out of nowhere constantly.

I'm sorry you're feeling disoriented. any sensory stimulus you know has grounded you in the past? I've had plenty of those times as well, for different reasons probably. and I'm here if you wanna talk.

 

[Kobusu]

I don't quite remember the feeling when being gaslit anymore (dissociative disorder so memory sucks), but I have a gut feeling that if you aren't being gaslit, you wouldn't question that. I don't know how it works when person also have delusions on top of that. and I can't say if that is or isn't your case. none of us are doctors here. but I sorta question if seeing a psychologist really helps as *they* gaslight survivors out of nowhere constantly.

I'm sorry you're feeling disoriented. any sensory stimulus you know has grounded you in the past? I've had plenty of those times as well, for different reasons probably. and I'm here if you wanna talk.

No, I tried rubberbands for a bit but that didn't work. Lately I've been cutting myself to help me remember that everything I'm experiencing is real

 

[little helpers]

No, I tried rubberbands for a bit but that didn't work. Lately I've been cutting myself to help me remember that everything I'm experiencing is real

is it okay for me to ask if you're physically at a safe place? or do you have a safe place to go to? you don't have to answer if it's too personal. I'm a bit concerned. used to run away to my friend's homes at that time.

 

[Kobusu]

is it okay for me to ask if you're physically at a safe place? or do you have a safe place to go to? you don't have to answer if it's too personal. I'm a bit concerned. used to run away to my friend's homes at that time.

Well I'm at my parents place until I move into my dorms. I'm actually pretty safe here they're very good and loving parents.

 

[little helpers]

Well I'm at my parents place until I move into my dorms. I'm actually pretty safe here they're very good and loving parents.

gotcha. though I don't quite comprehend "narcissistic" and "loving" being put together… maybe I'm overthinking on this one? Idk. don't have to explain if you prefer not to.

 

[Kobusu]

gotcha. though I don't quite comprehend "narcissistic" and "loving" being put together… maybe I'm overthinking on this one? Idk. don't have to explain if you prefer not to.

OH lmao my father isn't married to my mother he fled the country because he owes half a million in fines. They've been separated since I was born. My mother is the greatest mother to ever walk this earth and her husband does more for me than i could ever ask for. Sorry for the confusion

 

[little helpers]

OH lmao my father isn't married to my mother he fled the country because he owes half a million in fines. They've been separated since I was born. My mother is the greatest mother to ever walk this earth and her husband does more for me than i could ever ask for. Sorry for the confusion

so I guess what that means is you likely aren't being gaslit rn? Idk. I'm not pulling words out of your mouth. just tryna see what's going on.

 

[Kobusu]

so I guess what that means is you likely aren't being gaslit rn? Idk. I'm not pulling words out of your mouth. just tryna see what's going on.

No not by family members. No worries, it's alright

 

[noaccount]

What are you worried you did wrong?
I have resorted to self-injury at times to deal with difficult situations like these. I see other people talk about self-injury in a 12-steppy way, like saying they had a 'relapse' or it's something they need to totally abstain from, but I don't put that kind of judgement on it at all.
Myself, I don't look at people and think there are these essential or permanent kinds of 'different people' like narcissists or sociopaths or empaths or whatever - there are just, decisions we make, whether we decide to treat other people in abusive ways or treat other people with respect and compassion. You don't have to 'be' an especially good or empathic person, good is something we do.