Question

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Why do you think some people are just naive by nature and have a hard time to imagine or accept some bad things that people done to them? Even being through a lot of trauma. And what people do to them that they wont never do in a million years makes them sick.
@noname223 I would like to hear your opinion please as well from the other members. This forum it's all I got at the moment.
Thank you so much.

 

[spectraltease]

Personally I accept things easily. I just say okay but I don't have to forgive. My father was a naive person. He could never say, okay or accept the situation. Everytime something happened, he cried 20 min about some shit or tried to fight. I think the most ppl who do this are just some narcissistic edgy ppl. Like "Am the best, and I got the right decision for everything." One thing I absolutely hate.

 

[noname223]

Why do you think some people are just naive by nature and have a hard time to imagine or accept some bad things that people done to them? Even being through a lot of trauma. And what people do to them that they wont never do in a million years makes them sick.
@noname223 I would like to hear your opinion please as well from the other members. This forum it's all I got at the moment.
Thank you so much.

I feel honored to be asked but I wonder why you choose me. That is a quite difficult question. And I am not sure whether I am competent enough to answer it properly.

I think many humans have the desire to believe in the good of other people. Not sure how naive this is. I think almost everyone is searching for someone(s) one can trust and rely on. Most people strive for a deeper connection to other people. Most humans are social beings who feel bad when they are isolated for a long time.

You should not be too harsh on yourself for having trusted someone. I think it is natural to have this desire. Treason can damage other people. Some people will lose the ability to trust anyone else in the future again. I think the other side of the extreme can also have very detrimental effects. I think as so often in life a healthy balance is needed. I try to be rational and calculate the dangers of social connections. Though I am probably also biased due to my biography. The personality and attiude of many people get shaped by their biography. For example if parents betray the trust of their children this can impact their emotional development a lot

To the other question about accepting horrible things that have happened. I don't know I think many people develop some sort of trauma in some shape of form. This is can be pretty damaging for people. It can cause deep wounds which are difficult to heal. Some people become obsessed by suicidality like me or for example people start to become promiscuos. I have the feeling due to the fact that our genes play a huge role in how we react to traumatizing events we should not blame us too much for it. I think when we are the victims of cruel torment all we can do is trying to do the best with the cards we have been dealt. It is pretty hard not to become fully dysfunctioal after such an event.

I hope this answer might have helped you and was hopefully what you was looking for.

Sending hugs and love!

 

[Unhirable]

Well it depends. There are many reasons.

On some level it is a defense mechanism as the person wants to remain ignorant of reality so they don't have to face themselves or the reality of the situation.

On another level, it could just be that the person isn't naive and that whatever happened to them doesn't affect them. Like someone who recieved a lot of love and attention as a child may not be affected by brutal rejection as much as someone else. It just depends.

For trauma it may just be easier to bury that shit deep and operate at 50% rather than struggle to overcome it (if that is even possible) and return to 90%.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Personally I accept things easily. I just say okay but I don't have to forgive. My father was a naive person. He could never say, okay or accept the situation. Everytime something happened, he cried 20 min about some shit or tried to fight. I think the most ppl who do this are just some narcissistic edgy ppl. Like "Am the best, and I got the right decision for everything." One thing I absolutely hate.

I'm sorry for your father. I in fact have a hard time to let go of things and I take a long time to move on on things. I am a very sensitive person and I hate hurt other people because I know what it's like so I always think other person's feelings but they never think or protect mine. And they move on like it was nothing. It really hard for me to understand and with all this shit happen I kind feel that I am loosing myself.

I feel honored to be asked but I wonder why you choose me. That is a quite difficult question. And I am not sure whether I am competent enough to answer it properly.

I think many humans have the desire to believe in the good of other people. Not sure how naive this is. I think almost everyone is searching for someone(s) one can trust and rely on. Most people strive for a deeper connection to other people. Most humans are social beings who feel bad when they are isolated for a long time.

You should not be too harsh on yourself for having trusted someone. I think it is natural to have this desire. Treason can damage other people. Some people will lose the ability to trust anyone else in the future again. I think the other side of the extreme can also have very detrimental effects. I think as so often in life a healthy balance is needed. I try to be rational and calculate the dangers of social connections. Though I am probably also biased due to my biography. The personality and attiude of many people get shaped by their biography. For example if parents betray the trust of their children this can impact their emotional development a lot

To the other question about accepting horrible things that have happened. I don't know I think many people develop some sort of trauma in some shape of form. This is can be pretty damaging for people. It can cause deep wounds which are difficult to heal. Some people become obsessed by suicidality like me or for example people start to become promiscuos. I have the feeling due to the fact that our genes play a huge role in how we react to traumatizing events we should not blame us too much for it. I think when we are the victims of cruel torment all we can do is trying to do the best with the cards we have been dealt. It is pretty hard not to become fully dysfunctioal after such an event.

I hope this answer might have helped you and was hopefully what you was looking for.

Sending hugs and love!

Thank you so much for your answer and yes, it did help and I agree with you :) Thank you for point out that I wouldn't be too harsh on myself because I always have the tendency to put the fault on me (dont know why). The reason I quoted you is because I think your threads are always very interesting and you have always a interesting point of view about any subject actually so I was curious about your opinion. I have too much free-time and this was me trying to understand myself but what I really I need is therapy. Thank you much again for your time and consideration.

Well it depends. There are many reasons.

On some level it is a defense mechanism as the person wants to remain ignorant of reality so they don't have to face themselves or the reality of the situation.

On another level, it could just be that the person isn't naive and that whatever happened to them doesn't affect them. Like someone who recieved a lot of love and attention as a child may not be affected by brutal rejection as much as someone else. It just depends.

For trauma it may just be easier to bury that shit deep and operate at 50% rather than struggle to overcome it (if that is even possible) and return to 90%.

i think maybe you're right. Many times I ignored the red flags unconsciously.