Discussion Question for the older generation on here...

[Echo]

How have you survived so long? (I hope this is not an offensive question)
Have you felt suicidal for a long time?

I'm nearing my 40s and quite frankly I'm nearly done with life. I'm tired, mentally drained.
I dont see how I can do this for another 40 odd years. Unfortunately life expectancy is on the up and the woman in my family live long.
I smoke so that would probably shorten life span by a good few years.
I'm sick of working, paying taxes, paying bills, responsibilities, chores, socialising. Everything about living i no longer wish to participate in.
I do the bare minimum with every aspect of my life, just so everything ticks over and I'm not left destitute.


How are things for you now?
Do you wish you had ctb earlier?

 

[urgent]

The last 6 years have been brutal for me. I'm in excruciating unbearable nonstop pain. I'm in very bad health and afraid of ending up somewhere on machines. I wish I would have known to prepare before I became unable to. I think everyone should learn about end of life options in case you can't bear the suffering anymore because even if you think someone would set up helium for you they might not be able to. Now I hear those older than me say they stocked up nembutal or they have the car in the garage or they are going to Switzerland and I think why didn't I know to have a plan so I didn't have to suffer from physical and mental pain and be afraid I'll be put on a feeding tube and suffering for years.

 

[TheBag]

I hope 61 (in March) is old enough for you ;-).

I'm not suicidal yet. But I have my CTB procedure ready to go in case I get something nasty, like cancer or dementia. I, too, have been a (heavy) smoker most of my life, but quit some eight years ago. I've also been somewhat of a heavy drinker most of my life, so I'm kinda entering a risky age. And I'm making very sure that I'm prepared to exit on my own terms when needed.

Sounds like your life is hard, demanding... Very sorry to hear that. I get the feeling it needs a different direction, or maybe just a longer period of (happy) solitude or isolation.

I've had suicidal periods in my life. Though mostly when I was in my mid 30s (that's a shitty age). I have quite severe OCD, generalized anxiety, and a chronic sleeping disorder. Since these problems are hard to deal with, I made sure that all other aspects of my life were as light as possible. No kids, never married. Work was never really an issue because I'm completely unfit for that. I'm extremely lucky to live in a country with a very high standard of welfare.

Starting at 16, I went out a lot, every weekend and then some, until I was 50 or so. I have to say that was really nice. I've had quite some relationships, and even more one-night stands. Although very dramatic at times, things never got boring there. One of the hardest things for me to deal with was giving up various ambitions in life at a relatively young age due to my psychological issues. Regular job, steady relationship, a car, buying a house, kids, etc. I have to say that alcohol, smoking, zolpidem, and oxazepam (for my sleeping disorder) got me through some rough stages in my life. Being a songwriter also helped. So did various other hobbies I could completely immerse myself in.

I hope you get some new direction in your life. Best of luck!