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Seele

Seele

Sayonara
Apr 25, 2024
150
It seems I have discovered something I was never meant to learn: during an intense BPD crisis, I realized that vomiting brings me a strange and dangerous sense of relief. However, I deeply fear that this will cause me even greater harm, in every possible way.

I can't understand why my BPD has intensified so much, especially considering that I am completely clean — I use nothing, no substances. Ironic, isn't it? Staying sober seems to have only made everything even more unbearable.

And worst of all, I'm afraid. Afraid that an impulse might lead me to act on CTB. I want CTB to be a free and deliberate choice, not something so tragic.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,351
Am awre tht ur thred = ventng thred bt slf cn lnk sme spport servcs fr blimia or smethng 2 hlp protct u agnst implsve ctb if n.e of tht wld b helpfl or of intrst
 
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Reactions: sinfonia, rozeske, Forever Sleep and 1 other person
Seele

Seele

Sayonara
Apr 25, 2024
150
Am awre tht ur thred = ventng thred bt slf cn lnk sme spport servcs fr blimia or smethng 2 hlp protct u agnst implsve ctb if n.e of tht wld b helpfl or of intrst
Thank you, I appreciate the help, I'm scared of myself now
 
Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,351
Thank you, I appreciate the help, I'm scared of myself now


Ok

Crisis Plan - hre = lnk t/ crsis pln whre u cn mke nte of whch b-havrs 2 lk out fr in urslf whch shw tht u cld b puttng urslf @ rsk
Also a pln 2 pt in plce fr urslf & follw if u mght nt b thnkng proprly -- a numbr t/ cll lke eithr frnd or rel8tve or profssnl/EMS etc
If u hve n.e ppl in ur lfe tht u cn tll tht u r nervs thn thy cld hlp u wth tht pln

Overwhelm - sme dffrnt calmng & groundng xcerciss whch cn hlp if/whn u r feelng ovrhwhelmd

Eating Disorders Anonymous r an onlne spport grp wh/ hve Zm meetngs etc s/ u cn hve cmmunty & tlk wth othr ppl wh/ r workng on recvry frm EDs & thngs whch r causng thm

cn snd slf d.m if hve n.e questns
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,863
It seems I have discovered something I was never meant to learn: during an intense BPD crisis, I realized that vomiting brings me a strange and dangerous sense of relief. However, I deeply fear that this will cause me even greater harm, in every possible way.

I can't understand why my BPD has intensified so much, especially considering that I am completely clean — I use nothing, no substances. Ironic, isn't it? Staying sober seems to have only made everything even more unbearable.

And worst of all, I'm afraid. Afraid that an impulse might lead me to act on CTB. I want CTB to be a free and deliberate choice, not something so tragic.
Vomiting can ruin your teeth permanently
 
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Reactions: Seele

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