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keeptheghostout

keeptheghostout

Member
May 3, 2025
10
Hi so I was planning to kill myself today/this week via stabbing, so I was omw to buy a knife (I don't have one here). Before I bought it, I went to buy clonazepam from the streets to calm my nerves once I do it, and, tbh, get the high one last time (I used to use a lot a while back)
I took only one pill (2mg), which isn't much, but within an hour of taking it, I realized it might be laced with fent LMAOOO.
I'm not 100% sure how the effects work etc but this def isn't the way it's supposed to feel. I'm still doing okay because I didn't take much, and the fentanyl could be divided unevenly between the pills. I'm just gonna take the rest (9 pills/18mg) and if I don't die to fent overdose I'm just gonna stab my femoral arteries or something (if I can even find them. I know where they should be based on pictures I've seen, just can't feel the pulse.)

Sorry atp I'm just yapping, feeling good due to clonazepam and kinda scared/excited to do it.

Also one last thing, my original plan was the torniquet method, but I literally couldn't find torniquets where I'm from, and stabbing would be fairly easy as long as I don't scream and ig I'll manage the pain. Only downside would be it clogging, as I don't have access to a hot bath (gotta do this in my own room)
 
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finalgoodbye:(

finalgoodbye:(

Member
Jun 13, 2025
76
No need to apologize

may I ask why do you want to stab yourself? it seems really painful to me
 
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keeptheghostout

keeptheghostout

Member
May 3, 2025
10
No need to apologize

may I ask why do you want to stab yourself? it seems really painful to me
As far as I know, stabbing and the tourniquet method would be the only ones I could do in the safe of my own room. But they don't sell tourniquets here like at all (which is pretty surprising tbh).

Also I want to feel the pain in stabbing myself. Sober I would never do it, but with the clonazepam it should be easier.
Need to hone on finding the artery, but it shouldn't be that hard to find, especially if I stab multiple times.
 
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finalgoodbye:(

finalgoodbye:(

Member
Jun 13, 2025
76
As far as I know, stabbing and the tourniquet method would be the only ones I could do in the safe of my own room. But they don't sell tourniquets here like at all (which is pretty surprising tbh).

Also I want to feel the pain in stabbing myself. Sober I would never do it, but with the clonazepam it should be easier.
Need to hone on finding the artery, but it shouldn't be that hard to find, especially if I stab multiple times.
I don't know I heard it's almost impossible to cut your artery. in any case I hope you find peace
 
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keeptheghostout

keeptheghostout

Member
May 3, 2025
10
Update: Hello, I'm writing from the ER right now, its 5.13 am. The pain was literally too much, I couldn't do it. A few deeper cuts or smth like that. I got a few stitches on my legs, and they till are hurting. Nobody in my family has asked how I'm doing. Some of my friends (who knew about this) have answered, but not many. I'm just crying and crying and crying (I also cry VERY easily). I Couldn't get any painkillers because of the drugs I took earlier. I wish I wasn't such a coward. I just want to someone to hold my hand here.

I survived. I fucking hate that. Please just let me die. Please make the suicide pods here legal.
 
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FishRain3469

FishRain3469

Experienced
Mar 12, 2025
223
Damn damnt, I'm sorry to hear that all happened. Thoughts and prayers to you always 🙏
 

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