I've struggled with mental health for the majority of my life and while things were getting better, I have recently lost a pet whom I have loved dearly and was a source of love and joy that helped me carry on. So, I have given myself a date, both to wait and see if inspite of all odds he returns (lost cat), and to gather the materials nessesary to ctb the way I want to.
Before all this, I had purchased a few hundred Taxus Baccata seeds, to ctb if things ever got bad again. However, I have learned that poisoning using Taxus Baccata and SN may be painful and prolonged, that's not what I want, I want to loose conciousness and drift off peacefully. I considered texting some old contacts and perhaps purchasing some opiods- but its not really safe. An Exit Bag would be ideal, but here are a few issues I'm having problems with.
1. I don't drive, securing a Nitrogen Cylinder and transporting it to my apartment will be hard. I also don't know of a cover story I can use, then there is the risk of keeping a cylinder of gas in my apartment for an extended period of time, which is dangerous. If the cylinder is delivered to my place well.. that looks odd, doesn't it? Why is this person having a cylinder of nitorgen delivered to a residential apartment complex?
2. The safety of my flatmate. When using Nitorgen, obviously I will be gone after the first few breaths, but what then? Is there a danger or anything exploding in my apartment in the aftermath of it all?
3. I don't know the jargon and the accessories I will need for it. I know I need a cylinder, a hose and a regulator, but I don't know what flowrate to use or any of that stuff. I was going to use a bag but I've seen posts here that suggest a scuba mask may be more ideal.
The first point is the main one- actually getting the cylinder seems like the biggest challange to this. I've looked into places that sell around me- they are a few but all would require either a delivery or getting a taxi to the place (which I doubt will go down well).
Any suggestions would be appreciated. My mind is clear, asides from the grief I am thinking rationally and pragmatically. This is something I've struggled with my whole life and I'm approaching my 40s, this has just been the tipping point. I truly believe that someone should be allow to go if they really want to, and are of sound mind.
Before all this, I had purchased a few hundred Taxus Baccata seeds, to ctb if things ever got bad again. However, I have learned that poisoning using Taxus Baccata and SN may be painful and prolonged, that's not what I want, I want to loose conciousness and drift off peacefully. I considered texting some old contacts and perhaps purchasing some opiods- but its not really safe. An Exit Bag would be ideal, but here are a few issues I'm having problems with.
1. I don't drive, securing a Nitrogen Cylinder and transporting it to my apartment will be hard. I also don't know of a cover story I can use, then there is the risk of keeping a cylinder of gas in my apartment for an extended period of time, which is dangerous. If the cylinder is delivered to my place well.. that looks odd, doesn't it? Why is this person having a cylinder of nitorgen delivered to a residential apartment complex?
2. The safety of my flatmate. When using Nitorgen, obviously I will be gone after the first few breaths, but what then? Is there a danger or anything exploding in my apartment in the aftermath of it all?
3. I don't know the jargon and the accessories I will need for it. I know I need a cylinder, a hose and a regulator, but I don't know what flowrate to use or any of that stuff. I was going to use a bag but I've seen posts here that suggest a scuba mask may be more ideal.
The first point is the main one- actually getting the cylinder seems like the biggest challange to this. I've looked into places that sell around me- they are a few but all would require either a delivery or getting a taxi to the place (which I doubt will go down well).
Any suggestions would be appreciated. My mind is clear, asides from the grief I am thinking rationally and pragmatically. This is something I've struggled with my whole life and I'm approaching my 40s, this has just been the tipping point. I truly believe that someone should be allow to go if they really want to, and are of sound mind.
